“No.” I snort. “Never mind. What do you mean, you know that face? What are you talking about?”
“The one you make when you're thinking about a guy.”
My brows jump in amusement. “Oh, yeah?” I chuckle. “And what would that look like?”
“You get a faraway look in your eyes, and you don’t pay attention to anything around you. Sometimes, the corner of your lip starts to curl into a smile.”
“Shit.” I snort. “How much time do you spend looking at my face, Dean? Is there something you wanna tell me?”
“Oh, fuck off.” He laughs, flipping me off. He gets off the exercise bike and wipes sweat from his face with a towel. “We’re best friends, man. I know what you get like when you’re into someone. It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you with anyone since before training camp. So, who is he?”
“No one.” I stop peddling, a little out of breath, and take a drink of my water.
He gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? How do you not know who you’re thinking about? Really, you can tell me, are you on drugs?”
It’s my turn to flip him off. “What I mean is, I don’t know his name. Just some cute guy I bumped into at the coffee shop earlier. He forgot his wallet, and I paid for his drink.”
Dean grins. “I bet he was sooo thankful. Did he pull you into the back and suck your dick as a payment?”
“What the fuck?” I snort. “No! God. Why do you always have sex on your mind?"
“Why don’t you?” He raises a brow. “I swear sometimes you're like a monk.”
He’s not wrong. When I first came to SVU, I wasn’t into the whole dating scene. I was too focused on school and football. By my second year, I started to ease up on that mindset. Nothing beats a good orgasm to relieve the stress that working out doesn’t. Even then, it was very rare. I’m not big into casual sex. I like having a connection with the person I’m being intimate with. It makes things even more exciting and intense.
However, because I have little to no free time, a boyfriend hasn’t been something I wanted. It wouldn’t have been fair to the person if we hardly had time to spend together because of my crazy schedule.
To be honest, the most exciting thing about graduating is finally having free time to have a social life outside the few parties I go to.
To have someone I can spend time with, cuddle with, spoil, and take care of. I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that I’m lonely.
I’ve been watching my best friends getting into relationships, being happy, finding love, and I want that.
I know it will happen. I just need to wait for the right person.
Maybe latte boy isthe one?
Nah. That would be ludicrous. I don’t even know the guy’s name. It was a three-minute encounter, and this is a big campus. I probably won’t ever see him again.
“Just haven’t found someone I’ve connected with enough to turn it into something more.”
“Laaaame.” He tosses his sweaty towel at me. “Don’t need a connection to make a connection, if you know what I mean.” Hewaggles his brows, shoving his pointer finger into the circle he makes with his other hand.
“You’re a pig.” I grin, getting off the bike.
“That might be true, but the ladies don’t seem to mind.” He flexes his arm and kisses his bicep.
“I’m out.” I shake my head, grab my things, and head toward the exit. “Before your big head explodes.”
“The only head that's going to explode is the one I use later tonight when I’m balls deep in–” He gets cut off as the door shuts behind me.
I love Dean. He’s a good guy, but sometimes the way he talks about hooking up and sex bothers me. I’m all for living your life however you want, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. The sad girls he leaves behind because they think he wants more than sex is honestly a little heartbreaking.
Don’t love bomb a person! Just be honest and tell them what your intentions are. It’s better to be upfront than end up in a messy situation.
When I get home, I shower and change into a pair of sleep pants. Climbing into bed, I scroll a bit to wind down.
