For a moment, I wonder how. How did the universe, that’s been so cruel to me in the past, put me in the path of this friend group? Where were they in high school? My life sure as hell would have been a lot different if I had them.
I think that’s why I don’t turn Cooper away when he holds out his hand for me to take again and just accept that he wants me to be a part of their group. This time, I take it.
When my hand is gripped in his, the look on his face is like he just won the lottery or something. He pulls me into the group of girls, dancing and singing, making me sway to the music with them.
“Come on, Blake. Sing it!” he shouts.
I shake my head.
“Sing it!” he shouts again.
Rolling my eyes, I sigh. “Man, I feel like a woman.”
“Yeeeeess,” he screams.
I toss my head back, laughing, so carefree that there are tears streaming down my cheeks.
The song ends, and the sounds around the bar return to low mutter and chatter.
My chest is heaving, my heart is pounding, and my smile is still in place. Cooper looks the same as me, our eyes locked.
Why is he looking at me like that? Like I’m the only one in the room.
Something inside my chest shifts, and I’m jolted back into reality.
What the hell was that?
I start to feel exposed, a little too vulnerable. “I’m gonna go sit back down. All that dancing made me tired.”
He nods. “I’m going to grab more drinks.”
He jogs to the bar, and I head back to our group of friends.
For the rest of the night, I’m quiet. Not uncomfortable, or wanting to go home, just kind of confused, and a little scared. Whatever emotion I was feeling before, it’s not one I know. Or understand.
This situation is new to me. I’ve never had friends, and never did things like this. It reminds me just how sad my life was before Cooper and his friends came into it.
I find myself starting to panic whenever I think that this won’t last, that eventually they will move on and forget about me.
I don’t want them to. For the first time in my life, I want friends. I want to be around people and have these people in my life.
I just don’t know what to make of it, how to act, or how to process it.
It’s why I just sit and watch, smiling and observing.
By the time we’re all ready to go home, Ellie and Chase leave together, Lexie takes Val home, and I’m stuck with a drunk Cooper.
“I think I regret drinking." He groans, moving to sit next to me on the bench, placing his head on my shoulder. “Blakey, I feel funny.”
I laugh. “Yeah, alcohol will do that to you.”
“I can’t drive,” he sighs.
“No, you can’t.”
“You drive.”
“I’ll have to. Are you okay with that?”
