Because I was keeping my back to them. I’d only let them kiss my cheek and I hadn’t turned to hug them like I normally did. How was I supposed to explain that was part of the problem? That I’d started to become too reliant on those things. That I’d started to look forward to them too much.
“I’m good,” I said. “Why don’t you two get cleaned up? Food will be ready in a few minutes.”
I expected them to agree and leave the kitchen, but there was only silence instead of the sound of retreating footsteps. I was standing in front of the stove stirring the spaghetti sauce as I waited for the noodles to finish cooking. A big hand reached past my hip to turn off both burners and then the spoon was plucked from my fingers and left in the pot of sauce.
I knew whose hand it was.
Cash’s were slightly larger than Sage’s and Sage’s had the tiniest smattering of freckles on the backs of them.
Cash’s arm eased around my waist and I felt his mouth drop next to my ear as he asked, “What’s wrong?”
I forced myself to hold my frame straight instead of sinking back against him.
“I talked to Ronan today,” I said.
“About what?” Sage asked, his voice wary.
Before I could even respond, Cash was turning me around. “Why?” he asked, his expression tight with a mix of anger and hurt.
I pushed past him because I couldn’t do this while he was touching me. Sage was standing by the entryway to the kitchen, so I was technically blocked in. I backed up until I had the table behind me to support me in case my knees gave out.
“I can’t do it anymore,” I admitted. “I thought I could. I really did. But it’s too hard,” I said. “It’s better this way.”
“Do what?” Sage asked with a frown.
I didn’t want to look at him… I couldn’t. So I dropped my eyes and admitted to my secret shame. “Pretend.”
Chapter 12
Cash
“Pretend what?”I asked, barely managing to hang onto my temper.
She wanted to leave.
What the ever-loving fuck?
Why now? After all this time? Sage and I were finally making progress with her and she wanted to walk away?
“That it’s enough,” she whispered, her eyes still downcast.
I moved until I was standing in front of her, then tipped her head up. Some of my anger died when I saw the pain in her eyes.
Yes, she was really doing this, but it wasn’t easy for her.
I could work with that.
“What?” I asked. “What’s not enough? This?” I leaned down and kissed her gently at first, then deepened the kiss. As expected, she went pliant beneath me and kissed me back. But I didn’t take advantage of the situation. We needed to hash this shit out so she’d finally see that she was right where she belonged.
Sage and I had tried our damndest to show her that these past few weeks, but she’d held back. If she hadn’t continued to get into bed with us night after night, I would have thought her feelings for us had started to cool or they’d never really been there to beginwith. So I could only figure that there was one thing that was holding her back.
And it was my own damn fault.
Because I’d planted the seed in her head ages ago and I hadn’t considered that despite my reassurances to the contrary, she still might only think we’d kept her with us for one reason.
“Do you really think everything we’ve done, everything we’ve said to you has been about getting you in our bed?” I asked. “Because, sweetheart, you’re already there every night.” I kissed her again, then slid my hand down her side. She put her arms around my neck as I used my hands under her ass to lift her so she was sitting on the table. She automatically widened her legs so I could fit between them. “If all Sage and I wanted from you was a quick fuck, we’ve had plenty of opportunities.” I skimmed my thumb across her cheek. “Do you know how many times Sage and I have listened to you in your bed alone, night after night, as you’ve made yourself come and cursed the fact that it was your own hand bringing you pleasure instead of ours?”
Her eyes went wide and color suffused her cheeks. I stuck my nose against her neck and growled, “We could fucking smell your release on you when you got into bed with us, and still, we didn’t touch you.”
