Cruz’s hands closed around my hips so he could draw me up so that I was on all fours. I groaned when the vibration on the dildo started up again, but the few minutes he’d given me as he’d prepared himself had allowed my body to come down a couple of notches. But I knew it wouldn’t take much to send me right back to that precipice he’d had me hanging off all night.
I felt a slight tug on the dildo as Cruz got situated behind me, then his hand came down to rest in the middle of my back. “Breathe out, baby,” he said gently. I eagerly did as he said, even as tension racked my body. A split-second of nothingness passed, then I felt it.
Cruz’s crown pushing against my entrance.
Right beneath the dildo.
“Oh God,” I gasped when his dick pierced my body. The pressure was almost too much, which meant it was just about fucking perfect. My head spun as my body lit up. The pain turned into the familiar burn, but it lasted only seconds because Cruz pushed another inch of himself into me. I gasped and reached behind me to grab his thigh. I could feel his muscles flexing and realized I wasn’t the only one dealing with the strain.
Cruz didn’t ask me if I wanted to stop or if I wanted more.
Because he knew.
Just like all the other times that he instinctively knew what I needed. Sometimes before I did. The shame I’d felt that first night was nonexistent for me now and I refused to try and label what Cruz and I did with one another. I wasn’t his slave and he wasn’t my master. But I wasn’t just his lover, either. We were so many things to each other and trying to simplify it with a label wasn’t necessary or warranted.
“Halfway, baby.”
Sweat was dripping off my forehead. I would have guessed that he was all the way in, considering how full I felt. My lungs burnedas I tried to breathe through the lingering pain. The good thing was that my dick had softened somewhat, so I wasn’t in any immediate danger of disobeying Cruz’s rule not to come.
I had no clue how much time passed before Cruz’s balls brushed against mine. His fingers were biting into my hips hard enough that I’d have bruises in the morning, a fact I was very, very pleased about.
“Fuck, so tight,” Cruz muttered. His hands caressed my back as he held there for a moment, then they disappeared. I let out a hoarse shout when Cruz’s dick and the dildo pulled out of me in one slow, fluid motion.
When he shoved back inside me, I dropped my shoulders to the bed, because my elbows wouldn’t hold my weight anymore. “Cruz,” I whimpered.
“Just a little more, baby. It’s gonna feel so good when I send you flying.”
I might have nodded, I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure of anything except for how alive my body felt. Like my entire central nervous system had migrated south and was tied to Cruz’s cock.
Fast.
Slow.
Hard.
Soft.
Didn’t matter how he fucked me – every single way was heaven. My orgasm began building in my balls.
“Can’t stop it,” I managed to whisper.
Part of me was actually heartbroken that I wouldn’t be able to hold out any longer, because I wanted to please Cruz by following his rules, but I shouldn’t have even worried about it because he leaned over my back and said, “Don’t fight it, baby. Come for me. Just me.”
In one fluid movement, Cruz pulled his dick and the dildo out and then it was just his dick shuttling in and out of me. He didn’t bother going for my cock, probably because he knew I didn’t need his touch there. His weight pushed me completely down on the bedand he wrapped his arms around my chest. His lips pressed against my neck and then he was peppering my skin with gentle kisses.
It was in complete contrast to how hard he was fucking me.
I feared the orgasm that was overtaking me. It just kept building and building and every time I was sure I would go over the edge, I didn’t. When I whispered Cruz’s name with a measure of uncertainty, he was right there to remind me that he had me and that I was safe to let go. So that’s what I did. I stopped worrying about when I would fly, or if I even would. It didn’t matter. It had never been about the orgasm, anyway. It had been about that moment where I could give myself over to someone else and trust them with my safekeeping. It was letting go of the noise in my head and the fear of not being good enough and accepting that those things didn’t matter – they didn’t define me.
I was still the same Elliot I’d always been.
I was just okay with it now.
I was able to see that the man I’d become was perfect in his imperfections. He was brave despite his fear. He was allowed to fail, even though he rarely did. And he was worth loving, even when it was sometimes hard to love himself.
“El, are you still with me, baby?” Cruz asked.
I nodded. “Always with you,” I managed to get out.
