“I don’t want that kind of a relationship, either,” he murmured against my mouth. “But I want you to know that giving up control doesn’t mean you have none.”
“Okay,” I said. “I trust you, Cruz.”
He smiled. “I know you do, baby. I’m gonna take good care of you and you’re going to do the same for me, okay?”
I nodded, then kissed him. I was beyond talking. I was done obsessing over all of this. I was ready to do what Cruz was giving me permission to do.
Just feel.
Chapter 6
Cruz
It took justminutes to get Elliot back into the headspace he was craving. I wanted to kick the ass of the guy who’d made Elliot believe that him wanting rough sex and a little bit of dominance/submission play was the same as a full-on BDSM encounter. While there was nothing wrong with the latter for those who enjoyed that kind of sexual play, it was nothing like what Elliot wanted. At best, he was looking for someone he could give his choices away to long enough that his brain could focus on the pleasure. But instead of trying to figure out how to take the gift Elliot had given him, the fucker had twisted it into something ugly that had undoubtedly stayed with Elliot through every sexual encounter and relationship that had followed.
Elliot and I were both breathless when I released his mouth, then his hands. I kept my one hand on his throat as I held his gaze.
“When I release you, I want you to take off your clothes, then mine. I’m going to touch you while you do it, but you don’t get to touch me any more than is absolutely necessary. Do you understand me?”
He swallowed hard and nodded. His pulse was thrummingbeneath my hand. My dick hurt like a motherfucker, it was so desperate for relief.
I dropped my hand and Elliot immediately began to work his costume loose. I could see that his hands were shaking, but I suspected it wasn’t just because of nerves. I didn’t help him remove the costume, but as soon as the layers of fabric began hitting the floor, I did what I said I would and began touching him.
His body was even better than I’d imagined. He had a runner’s body. Long and lean but well-muscled. His skin was pale compared to mine and I loved seeing the contrast of it. When Elliot was left with just his underwear, he hesitated for a moment and I knew that asshole ex’s voice was in his head again.
“Eyes on me,” I said firmly when Elliot refused to look at me as his fingers hovered on the waistband. He immediately lifted his gaze and then drew in a deep breath. Then the underwear was gone and he stood there nervously, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Keep them on me,” I said. “I want you to see what I see when I look at you.”
I let my eyes rake over his body, then followed with my hand. Elliot did exactly as I asked and kept his eyes on me the whole time.
Until I touched his cock. Then his eyes slid shut and he let out a ragged moan. He was leaking like a sieve from his dick.
“Open them,” I demanded.
Elliot’s eyes flipped open.
“Look at the proof of how badly your body wants this,” I said. Elliot dropped his gaze and watched me collect some of his pre-cum on my finger. I made sure he was watching when I lifted my finger to my mouth and sucked it deep inside. He whimpered just as his lips parted. I pulled my finger slowly back out, collected more fluid, then lifted it to his lips. When he went to suck my finger into his mouth, I said, “No,” and he promptly stopped. I spread the fluid on his lips, then sealed my mouth over his. I kissed him long and deep, then licked his lips before kissing him again.
A strangled moan tore from his lips. His arms went around my neck and he leaned into me as he hungrily kissed me back. I grabbed his ass with both my hands and pulled him forward so hiscock was brushing mine. It took every ounce of self-discipline I had to break the kiss and say, “Undress me.”
Unlike with his own costume, Elliot’s fingers moved much more quickly this time around and he managed to follow my order of not touching me, though from the way his eyes scanned my body, I knew it was a command he wasn’t happy about having to follow. I leaned down and whispered into his ear, “You’ll get your chance to play, baby.”
A tremor sifted through his body and his eyes glazed over. Knowing that he’d already reached a point where he was able to let go of everything but the need to feel had me experiencing a sense of pride in him that I couldn’t explain. To give in to his need so quickly after years of being made to believe his needs were wrong was a testament to his strength. But I knew he wouldn’t believe me if I told him that. I’d have to show him instead.
“On your knees, El,” I murmured.
He quickly dropped to his knees, but didn’t go for my dick like he clearly wanted. I carded my fingers through his hair and said, “You want a taste, baby?”
Elliot nodded frantically.
“Say it.”
“Yes, I want to taste.”
Instead of giving him permission, I took my dick and pressed the crown against his mouth. Pre-cum streaked across his lips as I toyed with him. When I pulled back, I said, “Lick your lips.”
He did and then he closed his eyes in pleasure. I waited until he opened them again, then said, “Open your mouth.”
