“Ladies and gentlemen,please have a seat. Mr. Wilder will make a statement and then he’ll take a few questions.”
Preston patted me gently on the shoulder as he leaned down to speak into my ear so the microphone in front of me wouldn’t pick up the sound. “It’s been an honor, Nathan.”
I put my hand on his and sent him a nod, hoping he got my silent message. He returned the smile and then went to stand off to the side of the small raised platform. Flashes from several cameras continued to go off as the reporters took my picture, and I waited until they died down before speaking. I rested my hands on the podium in front of me, but didn’t bother looking at the notes I’d prepared. Preston had helped me with the cookie-cutter speech explaining my withdrawal from the race, but I had no interest in the written statement anymore. I was tired of playing it safe.
“Thank you all for coming,” I said. My voice felt dry and rusty, like I hadn’t used it enough in the past two weeks.
Which was probably true, since I hadn’t had much to say after Vincent had left me. Even the mere thought of the man threatened to derail me, so I forced myself to focus on the crowd of eager reporters.
“I’d like to start by confirming the rumors that have been circulating about me leaving the race for the U.S. Senate seat. As great of an honor as it would have been to represent you and the great state of South Carolina in our nation’s capital this January, I’ve decided I need to face some realities in my own life before I’m ready to be a voice for others.”
There were a few muffled murmurs, but the crowd quickly fell silent again.
“First and foremost, I am looking forward to rebuilding a relationship I never should have forsaken to begin with. I’ve been fortunate enough to spend the last couple of weeks with my brother, Brody, but all it’s done is prove to me that I should have put him first, and I haven’t always done that. I have a chance to remedy that, and I’m going to take it. Secondly, the recent attack on me and my family has been a stark reminder of how quickly life can change, how it can be snatched from you in the blink of an eye. I’m not going to ever take that for granted again.”
I took in a deep breath to steady myself. “But I think what I’ve learned these past few weeks that’s been the real eye-opener is that there are so many ways I can speak for myself and others, and it isn’t necessarily limited to holding public office. It was a path I was set on from an early age, but one that, in my heart, I never really wanted. It took someone very special to make me realize that it was just one of many lies I’d been telling myself for a long time. Which leads me to my last point…a topic that I wish I didn’t have to address, but I know will not be put to rest unless I do it myself.”
I steeled myself for what was to come as I said, “For whatever reason, my sexuality has been brought into question on multiple occasions by my opponent, as well as by many of you here in this room. I wish it was something that held no weight when it comes to my ability to do this job, but the reality is that it has weight because you’ve given it that. You’ve made who I love a factor in my ability to speak for the people I wanted to represent. You’ve decided that who I go home to each night is more important than my desire to see that all Americans are equally protected under the law. You spend time pondering what label to attach to me rather than questioningmy commitment to the people I was seeking to serve. So because I want the focus to be on my replacement’s qualifications rather than me after today, I’m going to share something that isn’t anyone’s business but mine. Yes, I am gay.”
I waited for the clicks of the cameras to die down and the rumble of conversation to cease before I continued. “No, I wasn’t attempting to hide my sexuality or deny it. It was something that I simply didn’t know how to deal with, so I chose to ignore it. I’d been raised to believe that being gay meant I wasn’t equal in God’s eyes anymore…or in society’s. I don’t believe the former, but sadly, the latter is still true and will continue to be true until labels like gay or straight aren’t needed anymore because It. Doesn’t. Matter.” I shook my head slightly. “I just hope that that day comes in my lifetime and going forward, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that when the next generation is sitting up here announcing their candidacy for one of the greatest jobs in the world, their sexuality won’t even be a blip on the radar. Questions?”
Predictably, several hands shot up at once and everyone began yelling questions. I pointed to a young woman in the first row. “Barb,” I said with a nod.
“Mr. Wilder, you haven’t mentioned what role, if any, your parents’ brutal murders and the subsequent scandal surrounding them played in your decision.”
“The loss of my parents did not factor into my decision. And to be clear, it isn’t a scandal. Authorities have found concrete proof ofbothof my parents’ roles in Megan Yates’ death. They will both need to answer to the sins they so often accused others of being guilty of. Beyond that, I don’t have much to say on the matter.”
I pointed to the next reporter. It went on like that for a good twenty minutes before I glanced at Preston, who nodded and then called a halt to the press conference. Not surprisingly, many of the reporters followed me out of the building, but luckily, Preston had been prepared for that likelihood and had arranged for a cab to be waiting for me. Since I knew the reporters would be congregating at my house, I’d decided to spend a few days at a hotel until the worst of it had died down.
After giving the driver the address, I sank back against the seat and pulled out my cell phone. The press conference had been a live telecast, so I wasn’t surprised to see a text from Brody congratulating me on a job well done. More texts from Ethan and several of the Barretti members I’d met over the past couple of weeks followed. It wasn’t until I saw a text from Everett that I felt the tears start to gather.
Proud of you.
The three simple words were my undoing, and I found myself dialing Everett’s number without even thinking about it. I’d talked to him a few times over the past two weeks. Luckily, Reese had started to get some sensation back, and doctors were certain that after physical therapy, he’d be able to walk again and would eventually completely recover. The treatment for his burns would be ongoing for a while, and Ronan had decided it would be best for Reese to be moved to Seattle so Ronan could oversee his recovery. Even though Reese still wasn’t on speaking terms with Everett, the man had decided to spend the foreseeable future in Seattle to be there if and when Reese finally came around.
If he ever did.
“Nathan, how are you holding up?” Everett asked as soon as he answered.
“Good,” I lied, since I figured the endless crushing pain in my chest didn’t really count as “holding up.”
Luckily, Everett didn’t seem to pick up on anything in my voice because he said, “So you’re headed to your brother’s place soon.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Once the shit with the reporters dies down, I’ll get my stuff packed up.”
Brody had invited me to stay with him and Beck and Quinn indefinitely, but I wasn’t sure if that was what I really wanted. I wanted to be closer to him, but since I had no clue what I wanted to do for a living, I wasn’t sure if Montana would be the best place for me. In any case, I’d agreed to go for an extended visit while I figured out what to do next.
“Nathan, you haven’t by chance heard from Vincent, have you?”
Even the man’s name caused an unbearable ache in my chest. Iwas so fucking pissed at Vincent for telling me he loved me right before he’d walked away from me. But as hard as the words had been to hear, knowing what had been coming, I still clung to them like they were a lifeline of sorts.
“Um, no,” I said. “Why?”
“Oh, nothing…I just haven’t heard from him in a while and he’s not returning my calls. Just has me a little worried, that’s all.”
I sat up. Well, Christ, now he had me worried.
“He’s not returning your calls?” I asked as I glanced at the watch I had yet to take off.
