I gasped at the sight of myself.
My hair was mussed, probably from the many times Vincent had grabbed me to demand I give him the answers he wanted. He’d been so dominant, forceful…
My body began to react to the memory and how much I’d loved the way he’d manhandled me. At the same time, he’d been so incredibly gentle.
I shook my head as I took in the rest of my appearance. My lips were glistening and swollen from all of Vincent’s kisses, and there were grass stains covering my entire body. There was blood, too, but I knew it wasn’t mine. At some point Vincent’s injured hand had likely started to bleed again, and he hadn’t noticed or cared. The sight should have sickened me, but it didn’t.
Knowing how badly he’d wanted me…
Finger-sized bruises marred my skin, too, and I couldn’t help but run my fingers over them. Who would have thought having such an aggressive, dominant lover would have made me feel so safe and wanted…needed?
My eyes fell to the streaks of cum that my clothes hadn’t soaked up, and I was instantly reminded of the powerful orgasm that had held me in its grip for so long. Even now, I wanted it again. I wanted Vincent to walk into that bathroom and wrap his arms around me.
God, when had I become so needy?
Anger surged through me and I stepped towards the shower. I needed to just forget this night had ever happened. It had been a terrible mistake, and now it was over. This whole thing would beover soon and I could go back to my life. I’d spend however many days it took for Vincent to figure all this shit out and get rid of the guy trying to kill me, and then I’d go back to being Nathan Wilder, budding politician.
Yeah, that’s what I’d do.
Fuck Vincent St. James, and fuck all this shit he’d made me feel.
Nothing had changed.
Nothing.
Chapter 18
Vincent
Jesus,how the fuck had I let this happen?
I dropped my head against the tile wall as I tried to make sense of what I’d just done. I’d fucked a man…no, a goddamn virgin…in my backyard under the cover of falling darkness, not caring one whit about what had been going on around me. Hell, the whole world had ceased to exist the second I’d buried myself inside of Nathan’s beautiful body.
And God, that orgasm…
I shook my head. I could still feel the aftereffects of the damn thing. I was physically exhausted, and the pleasurable sensation that lingered beneath my skin warred with my mind about how incredibly stupid the whole thing had been. Nathan was a client. A goddamn favor!
I winced as I remembered the sob that had torn free of his throat when I’d tried to help him do up his pants.
I’d been such an ass just to pull out of him like that and pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened. Or that the orgasm hadn’t done something to me I’d never felt before.
Not even with David.
Guilt tore through me at that, and I sent David yet another silent apology.
I’d never felt particularly guilty for sleeping with guys after losing David, because it had just been cheap sex that hadn’t meant anything. Hell, it was the same thing as when I jacked off on my own. I’d been taking care of a biological need and nothing more.
I shook my head because none of that shit mattered. Even if I wanted to start something with Nathan – and I didn’t – it wasn’t even an option. Not with the life I led.
And most certainly not with his.
The man stood for everything I hated.
So why wasn’t that enough to have me calling up Ronan and telling him to get someone else to figure all this shit out? It certainly would have been the smart thing to do.
I placed my hands flat against the tile and let the water slide over my back. My skin stung where Nathan had scratched me as he’d clung to me. It hadn’t been enough to draw blood or anything, but I’d seen the angry red marks up and down my back and even on my ass where he’d grabbed onto me. The man was incredibly responsive, but damn, when he wanted something…
I cursed the smile that crept across my mouth.
