When he didn’t speak again, I said, “Why are you telling me all this?”
“You were upset that I implied I didn’t trust you to tell me the truth,” he said as he turned and walked towards me. He stopped just a couple feet from me. “I think if last night hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t have been so quick to leave.”
The fact that he could read me so well bothered me more than Iwanted to admit. “Would you have been so quick to follow me if last night hadn’t happened?” I asked, though I wasn’t sure why. Maybe I needed to know I hadn’t been the only one feeling things I shouldn’t have. But did I really want the truth? Assuming he would even be honest with me.
Vincent studied me for a long time, and I held my breath as he stepped even closer to me. I actually separated my legs in anticipation of him needing to be even closer. I hadn’t meant to do it, but like last night, my body was overruling my head. Vincent’s eyes fell to my legs and his jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. But just as I began to sit up and draw my legs back together, he stepped between them and then he was leaning over me, his hands coming to rest on the rock next to my hips.
“No,” he said softly, finally answering my question, though it took me a moment to even remember what it was. I didn’t dwell on the impact of the admission, because then his mouth was covering mine. I knew I should stop the kiss, but I didn’t even try. Knowing and doing were two so very different things. And wanting was a whole other animal.
Because I wanted Vincent more than I’d ever wanted anything else in my life. I didn’t understand it and knew it wasn’t right, considering I was so fucked up in the head right now that every interaction I had with this man was just making things worse, but I didn’t care.
I wanted.
That was all it came down to as his mouth danced with mine.
I opened in invitation for him, but he only let his tongue graze mine before he pulled away. Then he was stepping back. “Last night was a mistake,” he muttered. “We both know that.”
Yeah, there was that damn knowing thing again.
But I nodded anyway. Because at some point I would need to let reason return, and my brain would need to start making the decisions again.
“I can’t do this if you don’t trust me,” I admitted. “I can’t be someone you hate just because of my career.”
“I don’t hate you.”
I barely kept from laughing at that. Yeah, he wanted me, but that didn’t mean he liked me.
“If you want to know something about me, you ask me. Contrary to what you think, I don’t want to die,” I said.
“And you need to remember that everything I do has a reason behind it…last night notwithstanding,” he retorted. “My ability to protect you depends on understandingyou.”
This time I did laugh. “God, this is never going to fucking work.”
Chapter 12
Vincent
I couldn’t exactly disagreewith him. After all, nothing about this case was turning out the way it should have. Starting with the fact that I’d not only followed Nathan, I’d fucking talked to him.
Not just talked.Talked.
I’d told him things I’d never told another living soul and that shouldn’t have mattered, since my past had absolutely nothing to do with my ability to protect him. But as soon as I’d muttered those words in the office, I’d known that I was going to lose him.
I needed to see if you were going to tell me the truth…
I’d had the chance to clarify things as soon as I’d admitted the underlying issue between us was about trust, but instead, I’d poked the bear and made the crass comment about his assistant hoping he was feeling better. I’d done it for one reason and one reason only.
Because I’d needed to get us back to where we’d been before last night had happened. I needed him to just be another job…another subject.
I’d failed miserably.
Just like I’d failed when I’d told myself I didn’t give a shit if he left. With every vibration I’d felt as my watch had tracked his movements, I’d felt like the asshole he’d accused me of being from themoment we’d met. When my watch had stopped vibrating, I’d switched to watching him on the security monitors, and I’d told myself to let him go…that he wasn’t my problem. But the second he’d been out of view of the cameras and the tracking signal had come to a stop, I’d been moving.
And not just because I owed Dominic Barretti.
It would have been simple enough just to get in my car and go get him, but I’d known the damage I’d done wouldn’t be undone so easily. I’d known I’d have to give him something, and it would come at a heavy price. Especially since I’d stopped apologizing to people a long time ago. And no, I hadn’t actually apologized to him, but telling him about my pastwasan apology of sorts.
Because that was shit I never told anyone. Everett was the only one who knew about that part of my life and that wasn’t even because I’d told him about it.
