He nodded. “I enlisted first. David joined up a year later when he graduated high school.”
“You were together in high school?”
“We grew up together. Both military brats. Our parents were friends. There were a few times our fathers were stationed at different bases, but by the time we were fifteen, they were both working for the Department of Defense, so we lived in Virginia. Went to the same high school. It was the most natural thing for us to end up together.”
I couldn’t help myself. I ended up moving closer to Vincent so I could see his expressions as he spoke. I didn’t even really care why he was telling me this.
“We weren’t out to our families back then…those times were a lot different. So we had to sneak around. I think my father knew, but it was one of those things everyone just pretended wasn’t really happening. I finally came out to my parents when I was eighteen.”
“What happened?”
Vincent shrugged. “My mother cried a lot, my father said I was ruining my life. Said I’d never amount to anything if the military found out I was a fag.”
I flinched at the word. “Why was that important?” I asked. “The military part.”
He smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile. “Because the military and the St. James family went together like peanut butter and jelly. You couldn’t have one without the other.”
I settled on the rock next to him. “I hate peanut butter,” I murmured, which earned me another smile, this one genuine. “Did you want that? To be in the military, I mean?”
He nodded. “Only thing I ever wanted more was David.”
I didn’t like the sliver of jealousy that went through me. It was unexpected and troubling.
“So what did you do?”
“I did what my father said. I never mentioned it again. Not to him, not to the army.”
“And David?”
“Things didn’t go as well for him. His parents kicked him outwhen he told them he was gay. I begged my parents to take him in since he was only seventeen and still had a year of school left. I told them if they didn’t, I wouldn’t enlist.”
“Did they?”
Vincent nodded. “Peanut butter and jelly, remember?”
I nodded. I knew that feeling all too well. I admired Vincent for having the guts to use it to get what he wanted.
“David enlisted, but we weren’t in the same unit. He was a great soldier, but he didn’t have the leadership skills needed to move up the ranks. By the time I’d worked my way up to Major, he was still a Private First Class.”
I had no clue what any of that meant, but gathered it meant the two men hadn’t been on equal ground, professionally speaking.
“Did that cause problems between you?”
“No,” he said. “He was just so fucking happy,” Vincent murmured. “All he’d ever wanted to do was serve his country. If that meant cleaning the base bathrooms, he would have done it, as long as it meant he was giving back.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?” he asked as he looked at me.
“Was that what you wanted? To serve your country?”
His eyes shifted back to the view and then he nodded. “I loved everything this country stood for. Freedom, equality, justice…I would have laid down my very life for it.”
The heaviness in his voice had me reaching for him, but I realized what I was doing at the last moment and clenched my hand in my lap instead.
“Something happened,” I observed. “Something changed.”
“Everything changed,” he responded. “David and I were stationed at the same base. We didn’t see each other often, but every once in a while we’d find a way to meet up.” He looked at me and said, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was still in effect at that time.”
