“Lockdown?” I asked, but before I could even ask what he meant, he hit a button on his watch and I jumped as a heavy piece of metal slid over the only window in the room as well as the skylight above us, pitching us into darkness. Similar sounds rattled outside the room and when I followed Vincent out the door, I saw the house was almost completely dark except for lights along the floorboards that came on and turned off as we moved, illuminating only a few feet in front of and behind us at a time.
“Jesus,” I muttered. “Who the hell are you?”
“The only way out of the house during lockdown mode is through this door,” Vincent explained as we reached what looked like an ordinary closet at first. He pushed the jackets aside and then took my hand and put it near the back wall and the panel instantly slid open. “The watch controls the door.” Vincent took me by the wrist and led me into the small space that was barely big enough for the two of us. The panel slid closed behind us and dim lights illuminated a narrow walkway that led to some stairs. “See that ladder?” I followed his finger to my right and nodded. “The closet upstairs is identical to this one,” – he motioned over his shoulder to the closet behind us – “except you have to climb down the ladder to get here. Follow this corridor and down those stairs, through the hall to another set of stairs. You’ll end up in the garage. There’s a trapdoor beneath the SUV. There’s an extra set of keys to the SUV and a gun taped to the trapdoor. The garage door won’t open in lockdown mode, but as soon as you open the trapdoor, the locks on the door will silently disengage so you’ll be able to use the SUV to break the door down-”
“Why are you telling me this?” I interjected.
“In case I’m not around to get you out,” he said simply. “If the house is breached, your only goal is to get to this door or the one upstairs, do you understand me?”
There was barely enough light to see the firm set of his jaw. “What about you?” I asked, as even the thought of leaving him behind had my mind crying foul.
Vincent maneuvered me backwards until my back hit the wall. His hand came up to clasp the back of my neck. “This is not Q&A time, Nate. This is shut up and listen time.”
“So what, I’m just supposed to leave you behind?” I asked.
“God, you’re so…” He dropped his head briefly as if trying to control himself. When he lifted his head again, I expected him to continue, but he didn’t. I didn’t need to see him to know he was looking at my mouth. And I knew why.
I couldn’t let him, though.
I just couldn’t. It was a line I wouldn’t…couldn’t cross.
But I didn’t move. I didn’t ask him to release me. I didn’t do anything except wish for the impossible.
He let out something that sounded like a mix between a curse and growl, and then he was dragging me back through the panel after waving his arm in front of it. By the time I stepped through the closet, the metal covers over the windows and doors had started to recede and I finally noticed how the house had been cleverly designed to hide their presence.
So this wasn’t just some safe house or something. It was really where he lived. Why the hell would someone have to live like this? I remembered how he’d crawled on the ground to check beneath his car for a bomb at the motel. And I started to wonder if I was really any safer with him.
Vincent didn’t speak as he led me to a set of stairs that led to the second floor. Both cats had joined us, though the boy, Mickey, was walking in front of Vincent while Minnie was trailing behind me. Brody and I hadn’t been allowed to have pets as children and I hadn’t had the time in recent years to get one, but I’d grown stupidly fond of the stray cat that had shown up night after night atmy patio door looking for food. Just the thought of the poor creature’s fate had my throat swelling with sadness.
“Your room,” Vincent motioned to an open doorway. Mickey was already sitting on the middle of the bed when I walked into the bedroom. Like the living room downstairs, it had a stunning view of the backyard, which had a little bit of a nicely landscaped yard before opening up into a clearing surrounded by dense forest. I saw a small pond on the far side of the clearing. In the distance, I could see the double line of fencing and I could only assume that meant it stretched around the entire property.
I turned to ask Vincent if that were the case, but he was gone. I went to the hallway and peered down it, but all I saw was an open doorway at the end. I wasn’t ballsy enough to enter his private domain, so I returned to my room and looked around. It wasn’t overly extravagant, but it was definitely set up for comfort. Generous bedding in neutral tones, a huge bathroom with a whirlpool tub and separate shower, and a small sitting area by the floor-to-ceiling window. I put my hand against the glass to see if I could tell it was bulletproof, but it felt no different than regular glass, at least not to my inexperienced hand.
I took a few minutes to unpack my bag. I’d brought the picture taken of me and Brody at our grandfather’s cabin when we’d been kids, but somehow seeing it was a reminder of things I wasn’t ready to deal with. My conversation with Vincent in the car had brought back some ugly memories that I’d worked very hard to bury. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten them, I was just really good at compartmentalizing them so that I only had to deal with them when I was ready to. And I most certainly couldn’t handle them around Vincent. I was already feeling too vulnerable around him as it was.
My thoughts drifted to earlier that morning. I hadn’t missed the fact that I’d woken up on his side of the bed. I could only hope he hadn’t been in it when I’d migrated in that direction. I’d slept surprisingly well considering everything that had happened, but I was still wiped out. I waited a few minutes for Vincent to come and collect me so he could explain what was going to happen next, butwhen he didn’t show I decided to take a quick shower since I hadn’t had the chance to do it the night before. I closed the bedroom door and then went into the bathroom. As inviting as the tub looked, I didn’t have the time to make use of it, so I stripped off my clothes and got the shower going. My side was bruised, but it wasn’t hurting as bad as the night before. Since I didn’t have anything to cover the bandage on my hand with, I removed it, but left the small Band-Aids Vincent had used to cover the puncture wounds on my fingers. My palm felt like it was on fire, but I ignored the pain and climbed into the shower, closing the glass door behind me. The hot water felt amazing, and I found myself standing underneath the spray for a good ten minutes before I even started the process of washing myself.
Everything took a lot longer since I was pretty much one-handed, but now that I was benefitting from the relaxing spray of the shower, I took my time. I let my thoughts drift and tried not to stress about everything I should have been doing today. Even though I’d planned to take it easy today and just focus on administrative tasks like following up on emails and phone calls with constituents and party leaders, it still felt like I was slacking off.
And I never slacked off.
Even as a kid, it had been hard for me to get into the rhythm of summer vacations at my grandfather’s cabin. Brody hadn’t had that problem. Nor had he minded missing church every Sunday, or lying to our parents about not attending or not doing our nightly bible study. My mother’s father hadn’t been big on church, so he’d never enforced my parent’s rules about attending Sunday services or reading our bible every night before bed instead of watching television. I’d done both anyway because doing any different had felt wrong. But there’d been many times I’d wanted to break the rules like my brother. I just hadn’t been wired that way.
I wanted to believe that was why I’d turned on Brody after I’d discovered him in tears the night of our prom and he’d admitted he’d had sex with his girlfriend and had hated it. I myself hadn’t ever had sex at that point, so I’d been certain that it was just the newness of it all, but then Brody had uttered those few words that had changed our lives forever.
I think I’m gay, Nathan.
“Fuck,” I muttered to myself as I felt the tears sting my eyes. I hadn’t meant to let my mind go back to that night. But now that I was there, my subconscious refused to let me walk away from it.
“No, you’re not, Brody,” I said as the reality of his words crashed over me.
Tears continued to slip from his eyes. “I’m sorry, Nathan. I’ve…I’ve tried to be normal…”
“You can’t!” I shouted. “You can’t be a…a fag,” I said, completely horrified as I realized I couldn’t protect Brody from something like that. “You’ll go to hell,” I whispered as even the thought of my brother burning in eternal damnation threatened to send me to my knees.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated as he wrapped his arms around his waist. I’d gotten home from the prom hours earlier after saying goodnight to my own date with a simple kiss on the cheek right outside her front door. I’d been studying my bible when I’d heard Brody enter his room, which was right next to mine. I’d gone in to see how things had gone and had found him curled up on his bed, still in his tux, and sobbing uncontrollably.
“It’s a mistake,” I said as I shook my head.
