“Do you need anything?” Ronan asked. “Something for the pain?”
I shook my head. While I was still really sore and likely would be for a while yet, I needed my wits about me. But there was one thing I needed if I could just find the courage to admit to it. I cast a brief glance at Cain and was surprised to find him watching me, hisexpression unreadable. He hadn’t moved even once from his position near the door, but I’d still felt oddly comfortable having him there.
“Do you need Cain to step out for a moment, Ethan?” Ronan asked as he waited patiently. The man was way too perceptive. Few people likely would have known I was working up to something.
“No,” I shook my head. I forced myself to make eye contact with Ronan as I softly said, “Can you draw blood?”
Ronan nodded, but waited for me to continue on my own.
“I need to be tested for STDs,” I finally managed to get out just before I shot another look in Cain’s direction.
I couldn’t tell if his expression was unreadable anymore because he was no longer looking at me.
I couldn’t say I really blamed him. After everything I’d let happen to me, I couldn’t look at me either.
Chapter 7
CAIN
The reminderof Ethan’s rape had me so enraged that I had to look away from him so he wouldn’t see the fury in my eyes and somehow think it was for him. I’d already seen him look at me once today like I was no better than the piece of shit who’d hurt him and I couldn’t go through that again. Watching Ethan stand before me quietly as he’d waited for my fists to fall, resigned to his fate, had been a brutal wake-up call for me. I’d never claimed to be an easy man to deal with, nor a particularly gentle one. But I’d also never hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. So to be placed in that same category had hurt like a motherfucker. And in that moment, nothing had mattered but making Ethan understand I would never do that to him. Yes, I’d hurt him briefly when I’d sought to disarm him the night before, but I’d still been careful not to do anything that would have left him with any kind of lasting pain.
But between him and Lucy looking at me all morning like I was leading them to the slaughterandthat I’d be the one to deliver the fatal blow had been a unique form of torture.
So I’d done the one thing I could think of that might buy me the sliver of trust I needed to make all this easier for the both of them.
I’d told Ethan the truth.
About the fact that I didn’t lie and when I’d finally answered his question from the night before.
It had been a strange thing to speak the words aloud…to admit for the first time what drove my aversion to being touched. I suspected Ronan and Memphis knew because they knew about my past, but I hadn’t actually ever told them what I’d told Ethan.
“I’ll run this under my own name,” I heard Ronan say to Ethan once he’d collected the blood. “I’ll need a urine sample too at some point,” the man said softly and I watched Ethan nod his head. The little bit of unbruised skin on his face went bright with color and I wished there was some way I could spare him the humiliation.
I saw Ronan nod at me and I knew what he wanted. I opened the door and motioned to Phoenix who went and sat back down in one of the armchairs near Ethan. I felt my gut twist uncomfortably at how close the two men were, but I didn’t want to admit what the cause of the uncomfortable sensation was.
But just because I didn’t want to think about it, didn’t mean I was safe from the thought.
I knew Phoenix was gay. He was also a very good looking man and his presence here meant Ronan had plans for him with this case. It should have been a relief because it would make things that much easier when I asked Ronan to reassign me.
It wasn’t a relief.
Not even close.
“Ethan, I would like to start by saying nothing you tell us leaves this room,” Ronan said. “My men and I are here to help you.”
“You’re a doctor,” Ethan said softly. “Why do you even have men?” he asked, his voice laced with distrust.
“Because I’ve been where you’ve been. Alone. Scared. Broken,” Ronan said softly. “Someone helped me fight back and I decided to pay that forward. In a perfect world, there’d be no need for the men who work for me, but you and I both know that very little about this world is perfect and sometimes things like justice need a helping hand.”
Ethan didn’t respond at first, but I felt a shimmer of electricity flicker through me when his eyes met mine.
And then I saw it.
That moment where he was giving me exactly what I wanted, along with proof that he was fucking terrified. I didn’t need to hear the words to know what he was saying.
I’m trusting you. Please don’t let me down.
I gave him a nod, ignoring the fact that Ronan and Phoenix were both watching us.
