“So your big plan is to run again?” I asked. “Because that’s been working so well for you up until now,” I added.
No response. No stiffening of his body, no uptick in his breathing, no flash of anger in his eyes. It was like all his effort was centered on not reacting in any kind of way. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was how he’d learned to cope. Maybe staying silent and being invisible had saved him in the past.
But I doubted it. It hadn’t ever worked for my mother.
Even the brief thought had a renewed level of rage going through me. But this time it wasn’t directed at the man across from me.
When he remained stubbornly silent I sighed and said, “Go back to bed, Ethan. Starting tomorrow, you’re Ronan Grisham’s problem. See if you can convincehimyou don’t need help.”
I started to get up so I could go back to the couch.
“You don’t know a thing about me,” Ethan suddenly spit out. I glanced over my shoulder at him and was pleased to finally see some fire in his eyes. I slowly lowered myself back into the chair.
“What I know is that you’re scared shitless and I suspect you have every reason to be. I think you’re too afraid to ask for help because getting it means you’re also getting something I think scares you almost as badly as the motherfucker who stole it from you in the first place.” I didn’t expect him to respond so I answered his unspoken question. “Hope,” I said softly.
Ethan let out a harsh little laugh. “Hope,” he murmured. “Hope is the last thing I want,” he said as his gaze reconnected with mine. “Eric is going to kill me. Not maybe. Not probably. Not if. Heisgoing to kill me. Having hope means making mistakes…it means trusting people who will either end up hastening your death or who will pay the price themselves. Do you and Dr. Grisham really want to be either one of those people?” he asked angrily.
Eric.
Finally, a name to go with the faceless fucker.
“And what about Lucy?” I asked. “Which of those people is she?”
Just like that day in the front yard when he’d put his finger over the trigger of the gun I’d held to his head, Lucy proved to be the chink in his armor because he dropped his eyes. “You said he didn’t know Lucy knows. IsheEric?”
There was nothing at first. No comment, no shift in expression. But just before I was about to move on to my next question, Ethan gave me the briefest of nods.
“Who is he?” I asked.
Ethan shook his head. “No, it’s my turn,” he said. “I get to ask a question.”
I wasn’t really interested in playing a tit for tat game, but if it got him to give me a little more information, I could work with that. I expected his first question to relate to what Ronan’s and my plans for him were, so I wasn’t at all prepared for him to say, “What made you think Lucy and I are any kind of threat to you?”
Chapter 6
ETHAN
I couldn’t helpbut think that if Cain held his jaw any tighter, it would end up snapping clear in two, but I kept that thought to myself as I watched the traffic fly by us on the Interstate. He’d had the same expression after I’d asked him my question the night before. He’d reminded me that Lucy had held a gun on him that first day, but when I’d pointed out that even armed, she’d been no match for him and I hadn’t been able to even land one decent blow on his body as he’d subdued me, he’d fallen silent. Several long minutes had passed before he’d softly ordered me to go back to bed. As eager as I’d been to escape him only moments before, I’d actually hesitated and I’d forced myself to go to Lucy’s room to check on her before going back to my own to try and sleep.
The second he’d grabbed me in the darkness of the kitchen as I’d been rummaging through the drawers, I’d immediately thought he was Eric and the panic had nearly crippled me. It had hurt when he’d yanked my arm back behind me like he had, but the second I’d cried out in pain, he’d loosened his hold, easing the pressure on my shoulder joint. But while the pain had dissipated, my fear hadn’t, even after I’d realized he wasn’t Eric. Because I’d seen the fury in his eyes. Along with something else…
It was the same darkness I’d seen when I’d grabbed his hand as he’d tried to move the blanket off my lap just before he’d helped me into the shower. Just like that day, I’d sensed the danger I was in. He’d had control of himself, but I’d instinctively known there was something just beneath the surface. Like someone had lit a match and was holding it just millimeters above a geyser of gas…all it would take was for one of those droplets to push just a little higher than the rest and it would be over.
I’d seen similar reactions in some of the trauma victims I’d treated, especially when they came into the ER unconscious only to wake up surrounded by strange hands and voices. They often lashed out in defense before I or another staff member could convince them they were no longer in danger.
It was that revelation and the fact that Cain hadn’t hurt me despite his obvious anger that had made it possible for me to relax in his grip and get myself under control. Lucy’s presence had almost set him off again, but I’d grudgingly respected his ability to maintain that iron grip he had on himself. But he’d also been short on patience and I’d had no doubt that for whatever reason, he really had believed there was a possibility Lucy had some kind of weapon and that she’d give it to me if we’d been given the chance to come into contact with one another beyond holding hands. Sending her back to her room had been one of the hardest things I’d had to do, but her safety had been my main concern so I’d done it. And luckily, she hadn’t argued with me, though she rarely did.
Because she trusted me implicitly.
It was one of the many reasons she also hadn’t put up much of an argument when I’d told her we couldn’t trust Cain, which meant we couldn’t share anything about ourselves with him. I’d seen the disappointment in her eyes and I’d understood it completely because, despite what I’d told Cain about hope, I’d felt it resurface for the briefest of moments when he’d held me in that shower.
Lucy had also agreed to my plan for the night before. When I’d told her we needed to leave while Cain was asleep, she’d informed me that Cain had taken the keys to the SUV at some point and she wasn’t sure what he’d done with them. I’d had to hope he hadn’thad them on his person when I’d started my search for them while Lucy had waited in her room for me to come and get her, but I hadn’t had a chance to find out since he’d grabbed me right after I’d started checking the kitchen drawers for them. It had been a fool’s errand to think I could be stealthy enough to get past a man like him, but desperate times…
Despite Cain’s rough handling after he’d accused me of trying to find a weapon to use against him, I hadn’t truly been afraid of him when he’d told me to sit at the table. That was one of the main reasons I’d been able to keep from telling him what he wanted to know.
Early on in my relationship with Eric, I’d been a terrible liar and on the few occasions I’d tried to lie about something to protect myself from his punishments, he’d seen through me easily. Even when I’d started telling him the truth, it hadn’t mattered because he’d already made up his mind at that point if he was going to believe me or not and he usually didn’t. While I’d gotten more skilled at lying about things, near the end, it hadn’t mattered what I’d said to Eric…he’d made up his mind about hurting me long before the first blow fell.
If Cain had threatened me with violence, I would have caved. I simply didn’t have the strength to stand up to him…not the physical strength and most definitely not the mental strength. Hell, all he would have had to do was make one subtle comment about Lucy and I would have sung like a bird.
