It had to be because Ethan’s body had been smoother than I’d expected it to be…that the slope of his back had been soft and gentle and that his ass had been perfectly rounded…
“Fuck,” I muttered as I stopped at the edge of the porch and stared out into the inky blackness that surrounded me. I tried to focus on the bite in the air and the cadence of the forest as it settled around the cabin, but all I could hear was the sound of Ethan’s breathing as I held him. All I could feel was the warmth of his skin…
“Jesus,” I snapped and then I was doing something I couldn’t even believe I was really doing. I stormed off the porch, not caring that I had no shoes or socks on. The snow was several inches above my ankles, but I barely registered the bitter cold hitting my skin as I hurried around the side of the cabin. I had my pants unzipped and my cock out by the time I was out of sight of the front door and I leaned heavily against the wall as I began stroking myself. The second my hand came into contact with my dick, I felt my balls draw up tight. I tried to call up any one of the women I’d been with in the past, but all I saw behind my closed eyelids were vibrant green eyes. All I felt was impossibly smooth, wet skin beneath myhand. And beneath my lips was the sweetness of Ethan’s flavor as I pressed my mouth against the softness of his shoulder.
A ragged groan tore free of my throat as I came hard and fast. My knees buckled as the orgasm wrenched through me and I had to lean against the cabin wall to support myself. Hot cum spewed all over the wall and my hand and it felt like it was never going to stop shooting out of my dick. I buried my mouth against my arm to stifle my moans of pleasure as wave after wave of violent bliss tore through me. When it was finally over, my hand and dick were soaked in ropes of cum and I was struggling to catch my breath. I had no idea how much time passed before the cold finally began to register. My feet felt like blocks of ice as I stripped off my T-shirt and wiped off my still half-hard cock and hand and tucked myself back into my jeans. I returned to the cabin reluctantly and went to the small half-bath to clean up as best I could. I told myself to return to the couch and try to get some sleep, but my body had other ideas because, before I knew it, I was in Ethan’s bedroom standing over him. At some point, he’d turned on his stomach in his sleep and the blanket had gotten kicked down enough so it was only covering his lower body from the ass down.
I shook my head as I stared at his back.
There was nothing feminine about him.
Not one goddamn thing.
I reached down to grab the edge of the blanket and pulled it up the length of his back. I didn’t have to let my fingers connect with his skin as I covered him, but I did. And sure enough, energy sparked to life every time my body made even the barest contact with his.
Disbelief washed through me as I settled the blanket over his shoulders.
This can’t be happening.
But I knew it was. And I knew it wasn’t some trick of my imagination because even as I stood there and stared at the look of peace in Ethan’s face as he slept, I felt my dick stirring to life again.
I wanted him.
A man.
I turned away from him even as my body urged me to crawl into bed next to him and wrap myself around him so I could absorb some of that same peace he’d finally managed to find in sleep. I knew I wouldn’t be as lucky because by the time I reached the couch, I was once again hard and I knew it wouldn’t matter if I jacked off again or not.
Because in my gut I knew that as long as I was around Ethan, it would likely become my new normal.
And that just wasn’t going to fucking work for me.
Two dayslater and I was as close to losing it as I could possibly get. I’d managed to avoid Ethan for the most part once I’d accepted that no amount of questions or reassurances that I was just trying to help were going to get him to open up to me. So I’d turned him over to Lucy’s care and had only interacted with him when he’d needed help getting to the bathroom. Blessedly, he hadn’t needed me in the shower again since enough of his strength had returned that he could take care of the task himself, not to mention that I’d found a small stool in the laundry room that I’d put in the shower for him so he could sit if he felt weak at all. He did, however, need my help getting back and forth to the bathroom. Luckily, I’d had the sense to give him a pair of my sweat pants which had a drawstring in them so he could keep them on his smaller frame. I’d also loaned him a T-shirt which was too big for him, but to my relief and probably his too, he’d worn it anyway. Only now, along with thoughts of what his chest and back would look like when the bruises disappeared, I was wondering if my shirt would smell like him when he gave it back to me.
I was as close to obsessed as I’d ever been about something in my life. So much so that I was hypersensitive to everything around me and instead of actually waiting for danger to seek us out, I kept looking for it instead. Just this very afternoon, I’d nearly taken out the driver of the truck that had ambled down the narrow pathleading to the cabin. I’d barely managed to stash my gun at my back after I’d realized the guy was just there to plow the road. The man had waved at me, seemingly unsurprised that the cabin was occupied. Up until that point, I’d been okay with giving Ethan a few more days to recover before we headed to Ronan’s house, but the sight of that driver had me on edge and since neither Ethan nor Lucy would tell me who the cabin belonged to and if they had permission to be there, I’d decided we needed to leave sooner rather than later or risk running into the angry homeowner or worse, the cops.
I’d been fortunate to find an outlet for my pent-up energy earlier in the afternoon when the sun had come out and the temps had risen above the freezing level. There’d been a pile of uncut firewood by the cut wood next to the cabin and after searching out the axe in a small shed behind the building, I’d taken out all my frustrations on that pile of wood. My muscles had burned afterwards, but the discomfort had helped since I hadn’t been able to work out as much as I’d wanted in the past four days. I’d managed to do some strength training in the small living room, but it hadn’t been enough to take the edge off. And since I couldn’t risk leaving Lucy and Ethan alone in the cabin, I was pretty much stuck inside of it with them 24/7.
While Lucy had seemed receptive to my presence the first couple of days, her demeanor had changed in the last two. She’d gone quiet again, barely speaking to me beyond one-word answers. She spent most of her time in her room or Ethan’s. She took the food I made each night for dinner, but she ate in Ethan’s room and I suspected it was at some point over one of the meals that Ethan had reminded her that they couldn’t trust me. Ethan had finally started eating more substantial things, but I left all that to Lucy to deal with since I had no desire to spend more time in the man’s company than I had to. In fact, I had officially started counting the hours until I could get him and his young charge turned over to Ronan.
As I tried to get comfortable on the too small couch for what thankfully would be the last time, I heard Ethan’s door open. It was just the barest of squeaks, but I’d become so in tune to the sound that it never failed to register. Under normal circumstances, I wouldhave waited for the footsteps that signaled Lucy was returning to her room from Ethan’s. But it was well after two o’clock in the morning and I’d heard Lucy head to bed hours earlier.
I quickly climbed to my feet, instantly concerned that Ethan needed something. But my worry turned to something else when I saw a figure round the corner from the back hallway into the kitchen. The cabin was almost completely dark except for a small night light plugged in near the stove. It was enough light to confirm it was Ethan I was seeing, but that he clearly hadn’t seen me. His moves were slow as he entered the kitchen, but he seemed steady on his feet. I kept my presence to myself since I assumed he was just getting himself something to eat or drink, but the second he began rifling through the drawer nearest the stove, I tensed. From the way he worked to make sure there was next to no sound as he opened the drawer and searched through it, I realized he was looking for something. A mix of fury and fear went through me as it registered what he was looking for and I instantly moved forward, my bare feet silent on the tile floor. Ethan had just pulled the second drawer open when I snagged his wrist and yanked his arm behind his back.
He let out a sharp cry of pain as I snarled, “They’re not there, asshole! You want to take me out, you’re going to have to find a different weapon!”
“Please,” Ethan whispered as I shoved him hard against the counter and grabbed his other hand so I could make sure he hadn’t found something in the drawer to use against me. His hand was empty so I yanked him upright and turned him around. He tried to lash out at me, but it was easy to subdue him by putting my hand around his throat. As infuriated as I was, there was enough light cast across his features to remind me of the bruises that still covered much of his face and I automatically eased my grip on him. Ethan’s hands came up to close over my wrist at his neck, but he didn’t struggle beyond that.
“Did you really think it would be that easy?” I snapped.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ethan managed to say, though his voice sounded scratchy.
“Right, and next you’re going to tell me you were just looking for a spoon or some shit like that!”
“My keys,” he bit out as his breath began to come in ragged gasps. Since my hold on his neck wasn’t putting any real pressure on his throat, I knew his reaction wasn’t because he couldn’t actually breathe.
Which meant he was panicking.
Because I was doing to him what that fucker had done to him just a handful of days ago.
