I did as he said. The hand he had around my waist disappeared and I immediately felt the loss, but I understood the purpose a moment later when he squeezed some body wash into my hand. I used my hand to reach all the places I could, focusing on my lower body where I’d vomited on myself. I was careful not to touch my dick since I didn’t want to risk getting even a hint of a hard-on, even though I doubted my body was capable of sexually responding to the close proximity of Cain’s.
Once I was finished, Cain handed me the small bottle of body wash. “Put some in my hand,” he murmured. My insides tightened at that, but not only because I was nervous about what I knew was coming. The bottle was pretty full so fortunately it didn’t take much energy to squeeze some of the gel into his palm. I didn’t miss the fact that his hand was so much bigger than mine.
Like Eric’s.
An unwanted shiver washed over me. But it dimmed when I felt Cain put some space between us without releasing his hold on me completely. I held on to the rail to keep myself upright as his hand washed parts of my back. His touch was gentle, but impersonal, which I was both glad for and a little disappointed by.
I tensed when Cain’s hand skimmed my lower back, but when he brushed the top of my ass, my body locked up tight and I couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped from my throat.
“I won’t hurt you, Ethan,” he said as he stopped his movement. “You had some blood on you that I couldn’t reach yesterday with the hand towel.”
I wanted to die as I realized what he meant.
I managed a nod, but nothing more.
He made quick work of cleaning my crack and the backs of my thighs. I suspected under normal circumstances, his touch would have turned me on. But all it did was bring back the tears I’dmanage to stifle earlier. At least I had the water from the shower to mask them.
He was done within a minute and then he was turning us so the water could wash away the soap on my back. He turned off the water a moment later and then he was easing me out of the shower. I noticed his shoes on the floor and realized that taking them off must have been what he’d been doing earlier right before he’d gotten into the shower with me.
A towel was wrapped around my body as Cain sat me back down on the closed toilet. I was glad to have something to cover up with. He used a second towel to dry off the exposed parts of me. He never looked at me while he worked, which I was supremely grateful for.
“Do you need to use the bathroom?” he asked as he tossed the towel aside.
I shook my head. “But…my teeth. Can I brush them?”
Cain nodded and then began searching the cabinets. He found a new toothbrush and worked it free of its packaging. He put some toothpaste on it and then handed it to me. As I brushed away the lingering taste of puke, he cleaned out a plastic cup that had been holding the cabin-owner’s toothbrushes and then filled it with water. He handed it to me so I could rinse and luckily the sink was close enough that I didn’t need to stand to spit out the water.
“Anything else?” he asked.
I shook my head. As he helped me to stand and began to lead me from the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and stumbled to a halt.
I didn’t recognize the man looking back at me.
There was nothing of myself, even beyond the bruises, swollen flesh and blackened eyes. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen the damage Eric had wielded, but it was the first time I was seeing it through someone else’s eyes.
Cain’s eyes.
His gaze met mine in the mirror, but I couldn’t bear to see the pity I knew would be there, so I dropped my eyes and got us moving again, using one hand to hold my towel in place. Lucy was waitingby the bed, her hands twisted as she watched us approach. She’d swapped the blanket out, though I wasn’t sure where she’d gotten the new paisley comforter that was on top of the mattress. The sheet hadn’t been changed, but since I hadn’t actually puked on it, it hadn’t needed to be. There was a bowl of broth on the nightstand.
Just the idea of eating had me wanting to throw up all over again, but I quelled it. Cain helped get me in the bed and didn’t loosen the towel from around my body until he had me covered up again. At some point, I’d really need to ask for my clothes back.
Cain didn’t speak as he disappeared into the bathroom, towel in hand. His clothes were sopping wet. I hadn’t seen a bag in the bathroom so I had no idea if he even had a change of clothes.
“Here,” Lucy said as she held up the bowl and handed me the spoon. Her hopeful eyes were on me as I forced myself to eat a few spoonfuls. In between bites, Cain left the bathroom and disappeared from the room all together. Exhaustion was starting to filter through my body and I barely managed to keep my eyes open long enough to answer the questions Lucy asked me about who she was and what year it was. I wanted to tell her I was sorry I hadn’t done a better job of looking out for her, but I couldn’t find the strength to speak the words. Everything hurt as I lowered my upper half down on the bed and the last two things I registered as my eyes drifted shut were Cain returning to the room wearing fresh clothes and the realization that I hadn’t thanked him.
Chapter 5
CAIN
What the fuckhad I been thinking?
I hated the agitation that had become like a living thing beneath my skin. I was known for my coolness under pressure, but now…now I felt like I was going to crawl out of my own skin.
I shoved the offending blanket off my lap and got off the couch. Even with it being pitch dark outside, not to mention cold as fuck, I tore open the front door and went to stand on the porch. The snow had stopped and like Ronan had said, the accumulation hadn’t been bad. We’d be able to get down the mountain just as soon as Ethan was up to making the trip.
Even the man’s name had me itching to put my hands on something.
Or someone. No, not someone…
