“Hi,” I said softly against his mouth.
“Hi,” he responded and then he kissed me back. I heard the minister clearing his throat and I could honestly say that was the only thing that kept me from plunging my tongue into Tate’s mouth the way I wanted.
“I got your message,” Tate said as his thumb came up to brushmy jaw line and I remembered the message I’d asked Matty to give to him. “I can’t wait to marry you either,” Tate whispered and then he kissed me again.
I smiled and tightened my hand on his before leading him to the minister. The man had a broad smile across his face so I knew our little deviation hadn’t bothered him in the least. The man directed his attention to the crowd and said, “I usually use this time to share with everyone what I’ve learned about the couple who’ve honored me with helping them show their commitment to one another. But I don’t think there are any words I could come up with that could better demonstrate the love we just saw that Michael and Tate have for each other. So I’d like to invite them to commit themselves to one another with the vows they’ve written.”
I felt my heart lurch as Tate took my other hand in his and faced me.
“Tate, would you like to begin?” the minister asked and Tate nodded, his bright eyes never leaving mine.
“I never knew what lay on the other side of those storm clouds I dreamed of someday having the courage to fly into. And I didn’t know how many there would be or how hard they would try to knock me from the sky. I thought…” Tate’s voice caught and I felt tears sting my eyes as he fought to keep his own tears at bay. “I thought I’d have to weather those storms alone…that I’d have to be strong enough to fly through them to make it to the light on the other side.” Tate shook his head. “But I don’t have to be strong all the time. I can falter and there will be someone to catch me…to cast me back into the sky…to fly by my side when I don’t think I can go on…when I can’t fight another battle.”
Tate’s eyes shifted for a split second and I knew his eyes were on our son because the tears did begin to fall. He returned his gaze to me and said, “You told me once that I didn’t have to pretend anymore. Do you remember that?”
I nodded because I remembered the moment perfectly. “I remember,” I said hoarsely.
“Never again, Michael,” he said. “Never again do I have todream of perfection, because it’s right here.” His finger began rubbing over my left ring finger…my too naked ring finger. “I love you, Michael. Forever and ever.”
I laughed at that and I couldn’t stop myself from lifting one of his hands to my lips to kiss it. Tate smiled and then he was trying to use his upper arms to dash at his tears so he wouldn’t have to release my hands.
“Michael,” the minister said softly.
I sucked in a breath. But the carefully crafted words I’d prepared wouldn’t come. I’d pored through various Internet sites to find the perfect combination of words to say to this man who’d changed my life…saved it, but even now they didn’t ring true. The realization that I was suddenly without vows should have scared me, but it didn’t. Because being in front of Tate, holding him, seeing how much he really loved me, made the words flow without any effort at all.
“I died ten years ago. Pure and simple,” I whispered. “I went on breathing, walking, talking…but that was it. There was no such thing as joy or hope. There was no need for a future…no desire for one, either.”
I saw Tate nod in understanding and he didn’t even try to stop the tears that fell. Only he could understand the agony I’d felt because he’d been the only one brave enough to see the real me…he’d been the only one strong enough to love the real me.
“And then I crashed through a door and into a life I didn’t even know was possible.”
Tate smiled at the subtle reference I’d made to the day we’d met.
“I hated you,” I admitted as my throat threatened to close up. Tate nodded and I knew he understood what I meant.
“I hated that you made me feel again…I hated that you made me want things I’d accepted I would never have. I hated that I loved you so damn much. I hated that I ever let you think I didn’t. I hated that I let you walk away. I hated that I didn’t chase you down and hold on to you so damn tight that you’d never be able to make a move again without me by your side. I hated that I ever made you doubt yourself and how beautiful and strong and amazing you are.”
I blinked the tears that were blurring my vision away, not caring who saw them fall.
“There are moments where I can’t breathe when I’m around you,” I admitted. “And sometimes I can’t breathe when you’re not around,” I said with a chuckle. Tate let out a soft laugh and nodded in agreement. “I love you, Tate. For all the things you’ve given me and for all the things you’ve taken away. For making every breath that I do take worth taking. For showing me I don’t have to forget the past to have a future with you and our son. For making me realize what ‘forever and ever’ really means and for letting me love you that way. I love you,” I whispered and then I leaned in to kiss him.
“I love you,” Tate breathed against my mouth.
“Okay, I’m thinking we need to do the short, short version,” the minister said with a chuckle. Tate and I both laughed and forced some space between our bodies.
“Can we have the rings please?” the man asked.
Matty walked up the steps and stood in front of us, a big grin on his face. Tate and I both reached down to pat him on the back. Matty pulled the rings out and held his palm out.
“Tate, please place your ring on Michael’s finger and repeat after me.”
The metal of the platinum ring felt amazing against my skin as Tate slid it onto my finger and I barely heard the words he repeated. When it was my turn, I had to focus on every word the minister was saying or there was no way I was going to get through them. Tate let out a small gasp when I slid the ring on his finger and he closed his eyes as more tears fell.
By the time the minister announced us as wed, I was already pulling Tate into my arms and sealing my mouth over his. I tuned out everyone else but him and me and told him with my touch the things I hadn’t been able to convey with mere words.
I was dimly aware of applause and Ronan and Seth offering their congratulations to each of us. I reached down to pick up Matty and then the three of us were holding onto each other as we pledged our love to one another forever and ever. By the time wewere ready to walk down the aisle, I was glad to see that we weren’t the only ones in tears.
But nothing sounded better then when the minister announced us as Michael, Tate and Matthew Hawkins.
