I hated the worry in Brennan’s voice, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I’d focused on a spot on the floor where the laminate was scuffed and I was terrified that if I took my eyes off of it for even a moment, I’d fly apart into a million pieces.
“Damn it, Tristan, look at me!”
The anger in Memphis’s voice was enough to jar me back to the present, and I realized at some point he’d moved so that he was kneeling in front of me. One hand was at the back of my neck and the other was still holding mine.
“Tristan, take a deep breath,” Memphis ordered. His tone was such that I didn’t want to argue with him so I did it.
“Everything okay?” I heard another voice ask and I knew it was my doctor, Dr. Reston. I heard Brennan say something to me, but I kept my attention on Memphis as his face came into focus and he ordered me to take another breath. I had no idea how much time passed before my body began to relax and I became aware of my surroundings.
“You okay, baby?” I heard Memphis ask and I nodded. He swiped his thumb over my cheek and this time the touch felt good.
“I’m okay,” I said and I turned to Brennan and nodded my head. He leaned in to kiss me briefly as I sensed Memphis returning to the chair next to me. Dr. Reston was sitting on a rolling stool near the counter and I saw him glance at a nurse who was hovering in the doorway.
“I think we’re okay in here now, Emily,” he said with a nod. The nurse left the room and shut the door.
“How are you feeling, Tristan?” Dr. Reston asked as he rolled the chair so that he was sitting across from me.
“Better,” I said. “Sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who should be apologizing, Tristan.”
I felt my insides seize again, but the doctor quickly put his hand on my knee and said, “Tristan, you’re fine. Your viral load is undetectable again. It was a blip.”
“What?” I asked, certain I hadn’t heard him right.
“It was a blip, just like I thought,” the doctor said. The man’s kind face fell as he said, “I’m so sorry, Tristan. Our standard procedure when we do a retest like this is to notify patients immediately of this kind of result over the phone, in addition to scheduling an appointment with them to go over any questions they might have. Obviously we got the appointment part right, but somehow the call got lost in the shuffle. I had no idea you weren’t notified that your results had normalized again.”
I wanted to tell him it was okay, but the truth was I was just too overwhelmed to do anything at all.
Like stop the sob of relief that tore free of my throat. Or the one after it.
I was instantly pulled against Memphis’s broad chest and I gladly wrapped my arms around him as I cried uncontrollably. I felt Brennan’s chest press against my back and then his lips were against my ear as he kept telling me to let it all out.
And that was exactly what I did. By the time I was done, I felt boneless and I doubted I would have been able to stay sitting in my chair if Memphis hadn’t been hanging on to me. I had no idea how much time had passed before I felt good enough to sit up. Brennan pressed a wad of tissues into my hand. I wiped at my face and then stood up to wrap my arms around him. He held me really tight, which I loved and then he told me he loved me, which I loved even more. When he released me, I searched out Memphis who was also standing and he opened his arms immediately. I loved the way he held me, with one hand at my back the other at my neck. His lipsgrazed my temple and then sought out my mouth in the sweetest of kisses.
“You’re okay,” Memphis said softly and I smiled and nodded.
“I’m okay,” I repeated.
I heard Memphis say, “Call him back in,” and I saw Brennan open the exam room door. I hadn’t even realized until that moment that Dr. Reston had left at some point.
Memphis helped me sit down again and we ended up in much the same positions as when we’d first sat down, except I wasn’t on the verge of a complete breakdown.
“How are you feeling, Tristan?” the doctor asked.
I nodded. “Much better,” I said with a laugh.
“I’m so sorry-”
“It’s okay,” I said and I reached out to pat the distressed man’s arm. He’d been my doctor from the time my dads had adopted me and I knew he never would have knowingly caused me to suffer.
He covered my hand with his for a moment and as soon as he released me, I sought out Brennan’s hand again.
“So, while I have no reason to worry, I’d like to test you again in a month instead of the normal three months.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Are you having any issues with your medications?”
