Because I had no doubt that that’s what was happening to me. Never in a million years would I have thought it possible, but I was falling in love with the young man who was supposed to have been a one-time fuck. And just like I’d worried about from the beginning, Brennan was in love with someone else…and now I knew that that someone else likely loved him back.
Which meant I was once again the odd man out.
I’d ended up in the same exact fucking position I’d been in three years earlier just before my life had gone to hell. Before everything I’d cared about had been stolen from me all because I’d fallen in love with the wrong man.
“Does he know you’re in love with him?” I asked.
Color flooded Tristan’s cheeks as he swallowed hard and dropped his eyes. “How?” he whispered.
I stepped close enough to tip Tristan’s face up. My hand was resting on his jaw and for the life of me, I couldn’t make myself move it. His skin was warm and I could feel his pulse thrumming against my fingers. It would be so easy to drop my head and taste him.
“I see it when you look at him,” I said softly as I began stroking my thumb along the line of his jaw. “But you always make sure he isn’t looking at you when you do it.”
“Oh God,” Tristan whispered.
“Does he even know you’re gay?” I asked. I was surprised to findthat I already knew the answer was ‘no’ because somewhere along the way, I’d realized everything Brennan had said to me was the truth.
Tristan shook his head and I forced myself to let him go. “I don’t know if he does. We never talked about it. I mean, it’s not like I have a chance with him anyway.” He began walking again and I followed.
“I can see that he cares about you a great deal,” I hedged since it wasn’t my place to tell him how Brennan really felt. I tried not to wonder too much if there was a more selfish reason I was holding back that little bit of information.
“That’s just Brennan being Brennan,” Tristan murmured.
“What do you mean?”
“He’s really protective…always has been. Not surprising, considering his past.”
“His past?” I asked.
Tristan seemed to relax a bit and he sent me a quick look. “Brennan’s mom used to be married to Zane’s dad, but she left when Zane was like six years old. She married Brennan’s dad six or seven years later and had Brennan’s older brother, Cody. After Brennan’s dad and Cody died in a plane crash, Brennan’s mom started to drink…a lot,” Tristan said with emphasis. “Brennan ended up having to watch out for his little sister, Hannah.”
“How old was he?” I asked, surprised to learn how rough Brennan had had it as a child. It was something I never would have guessed considering how confident and put together he was.
“Twelve, I think when he lost his dad and Cody. His mom started dating some guy when he was fourteen and Hannah was four. I guess the guy drank a lot too. His mom died a few months later in a car crash. There was no other family and the guy she was dating told the State he’d take care of Hannah, but not Brennan.”
“Why just Hannah?” I asked even as my instincts gave me the answer.
Tristan cast me a dark look and I knew my gut had been right. “What happened?” I asked.
“Brennan took Hannah and ran before the guy could touch her.His mom had talked about this great lawyer who once freed an innocent man from death row so Brennan tracked him down.”
“His brother,” I said.
Tristan nodded. “Although he didn’t know Zane was his brother at the time. He went there to hire Zane to help him protect Hannah.” Tristan slowed and then stopped. “It’s in his nature to be that way – to take care of people. That’s all he’s doing with me.”
“Tristan-”
“He’s out of my league, Memphis. And even if he weren’t, I’d have nothing to offer him,” Tristan murmured. “Besides, he’s seeing someone and I can tell that this guy, he makes him happy.”
The words I’d been about to say at Tristan’s self-deprecating remark got stuck in my throat. And before I could even figure out how to recover, Tristan stopped and said, “You mind if we head back? I’m kind of tired.”
“Sure,” I murmured, hating that I was the reason for the dejected look in his eyes. And not only because I’d brought up the whole topic of Tristan’s feelings for Brennan.
By the time we reached the house, I could tell Tristan was struggling with both his emotions and his physical strength. I led him to the guestroom and got the lights turned on for him as he worked his shoes off and climbed into bed.
“Is this okay?” I asked as I motioned to the light on the nightstand.
“Yeah. Thanks,” he said with a nod and I felt my stomach knot when he turned his back on me.
