“She looks exactly like the last time I saw her. We played cards for hours and hours on Thanksgiving night during my last leave before she disappeared…It’s perfect,” I whispered and then I did what I’d wanted to do since the day I’d gone to Jonas’s studio to apologize. I enfolded Jonas in my arms and I felt a big breath escape me as his arms wrapped around my waist. We were still both sitting so the angle didn’t let me pull him up against me the way I wanted to but I still reveled in how at ease I finally felt. I tried not to think on it too much that I liked the soft fragrances of aftershave and man teasing my senses, or the way Jonas’s hard body flexed beneath my palms. Or that the feel of his jaw brushing my neck felt insanely good. And I definitely did my best not to dwell on the fact that it would be so easy to turn my head just a little so my lips could taste his skin, flutter over his pulse, skim over his full lips.
I was lucky that Jonas finally pulled back on his own because I was struggling to be the first one to end the contact. But then Jonas sent me a tremulous smile and I knew I was fucked. Completely and royally.
Chapter 9
MACE
The first thingI noticed as I pulled the van into an open spot in front of Jonas’s gallery was a gorgeous ass in a tight pair of jeans sticking out from beneath the hood of Jonas’s car. I had no doubt who the ass belonged to, since I’d caught myself looking at it more than once. The last time had been the day before when I pulled Cole off the unlucky bastard he’d decided to let his rage loose on. Jonas and I had arrived at Cole’s house just in time to see Cole shove the skinny, stringy haired guy down the porch stairs. I hadn’t actually heard anything the two men said to each other so I had no idea what had caused the fight, but a part of me had enjoyed seeing someone as cool and collected as Cole lose it. But I hadn’t liked the crowd that’d gathered around to watch Cole’s meltdown.
It actually hadn’t been easy to drag Cole off the guy and I hadn’t missed the hungry look in Cole’s eyes as he fought me, albeit briefly. His unspent fury felt familiar to me and I’d actually felt a perverse need to let him do whatever he needed to do to lance the wounds that drove him. I’d also felt something else that I was trying very hard not to dwell on.
I hadn’t seen Cole after that because I’d stayed in the van during the service. I’d spent much of the time trying to figure outmy next steps, because the call from Mav that I’d finally managed to return after Ronan left had only left me with more questions than answers. I knew Cole was a decorated Navy SEAL who’d been honorably discharged in recent weeks and I’d wondered why a man in the prime of his career would walk away from it. At twenty-nine, Cole still had plenty of years left to serve his country and from his stellar record, he’d done more than his fair share of it. I hadn’t seen any signs of PTSD and from the information I’d gleaned about his sister, the discovery of her death occurred after his discharge.
Which led me to the problems I was having with figuring out Jonas’s connection to Cole and his sister. While Cole had mentioned a police report that described Carrie’s death, he’d also hinted at Jonas knowing something about what had happened to her. The problem was that Mav hadn’t been able to find any details about Carrie Bridgerton’s death. All he’d found was a missing person’s report her parents had filed years earlier.
I’d had Benny send me all the emails between Devlin Prescott and Jonas from the time their relationship started, and while there weren’t a lot of them, they were regular enough to prove that they’d been seeing each other from the time Jonas was fourteen up through the time he’d spent in Paris. Which meant Jonas would have likely met Carrie while he’d been living in Boston or possibly during one of his trips to Manhattan to meet up with Devlin.
The idea of Jonas and Devlin Prescott made me physically ill, and I’d been tempted on more than one occasion in the last couple of days to grab my rifle and head up to the Hamptons to take out the monster who’d started this whole thing…the man who’d turned Jonas into what he was. But first and foremost, I needed to figure out what the hell was going on with Jonas because Ronan’s patience would only last for so long. I knew in my gut that something about this whole thing was really fucked up but I just couldn’t figure out the piece I was missing.
As I got out of the van, I heard Jonas’s car start up. My plan had been to fix the car I’d intentionally disabled before Jonas got up. I hadn’t planned on Cole showing up though.
“Morning,” I said to Jonas as he climbed out of the car, a smile on his face.
“Morning. Cole fixed it,” he said, motioning to his car where Cole was in the process of releasing the hood so he could close it.
Cole’s cobalt eyes shifted to me when he said, “Loose wire on the distributor cap. Surprised you missed it.”
“Huh,” I said non-committedly. “Glad you figured it out.”
“He’s a lifesaver,” Jonas said as he started loading some boxes that were stacked up on the curb next to the car. “It would have sucked trying to get these into a cab.”
“Didn’t expect to see you again so soon,” I said to Cole.
“Jonas left his sketchpad at my house,” Cole responded as he began helping Jonas with the boxes. “I knew it was important to him…”
“Cole’s going to help me deliver some of these art supplies today,” Jonas added. “If you need anything, you can call me on my cell.”
Right. Because I was the fucking help.
“Sure,” I murmured as I went through the motions of getting my shit out of the van. I did my best not to watch Jonas and Cole laugh as they struggled to fit the boxes into Jonas’s little hatchback sedan. I hated the jealousy that ate away at me but I hated knowing that my irritation stemmed more from being an outsider rather than Jonas and Cole being together. Because there was something about the two of them…
“Bye, Mace,” Jonas called as he and Cole got into his car. I returned his wave as I got the last of my things out of the van but I didn’t bother taking them into the studio. Instead, I put the tools back into the van, slammed the doors shut and locked up the gallery. It took just minutes to walk to my regular car which was parked in an alley one block over. Following Jonas and Cole wasn’t really necessary but I convinced myself otherwise and brought up the app on my phone that linked to the GPS tracker I’d placed in the wheel well of Jonas’s car the day before.
It took just minutes to catch up to them but I made sure to maintain my distance. They ended up making three stops at variousschools and I was surprised how much time they spent at each one. I would have liked to see how Jonas interacted with the kids but figured with Cole’s presence, he would probably hide any interest he might have had in any one kid. Even as the thought crossed my mind, I wanted to spit out the bitter taste that flooded my mouth. And it wasn’t because I believed that Jonas was guilty of the things he stood accused of…the things I had proof he’d done. It was because I needed him not to be. Because I knew, had known for a while now, that I wouldn’t be pulling the trigger, no matter what happened. I’d thought after seeing the emails between Jonas and Devlin that I could do what I needed to do but as I’d lain in bed that night listening to Jonas’s cries as he struggled with his relentless nightmares, I’d known then that I couldn’t punish him for something that had been done to him.
Only problem was, if I didn’t pull the trigger, Ronan would send someone who would. Someone who wouldn’t see Jonas’s kindness or gentle nature or his need to comfort…or the pain that consumed him. They wouldn’t care that he’d suffered at the hands of another. They would deliver justice, not mercy.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop the men that Ronan would send so I was left with only one choice. Take Jonas and run. Find a place for him to start a new life and make sure he got some help so he wouldn’t hurt any more kids.
He’d hate me of course. There was just no way around that. But I wanted him alive more than I wanted him to keep looking at me like he always did – with equal parts of want and need and just a hint of fear.
As I followed Jonas and Cole to a deli, I parked across the street and far enough down the block that I wouldn’t be visible, but had enough of a view to watch them as they ate in the outdoor seating area. Jonas looked so at ease with Cole that I felt envious. What would it be like to have Jonas smile like that at me? What would his laugh sound like?
What did it fucking matter? I was about to destroy his entire life.
A rush of anger and frustration surged through me and I started up my car and headed back to the gallery. I’d seen that there werestill boxes in Jonas’s car so he likely had more stops to make before he got back to the gallery, but I didn’t want to risk not being there if he came back early.
I’d made a lot of progress on Jonas’s studio and had only a couple more days’ worth of work. It didn’t leave me much time to make plans for figuring out how to get Jonas out of the mess he was in.
