At the knock on the door, I turned off the water that I’d been splashing on my face in an effort to settle my turbulent thoughts. Jonas was waiting for me on the other side of the door when I opened it.
“Is nine ‘o clock tomorrow okay?” Jonas asked.
I stepped out of the bathroom and glanced around the now empty studio. Jonas looked shaky, but he was dry-eyed so that was something. I wondered how Cole was doing and then cursed myself for the ridiculous thought.
“What?” I asked.
“Is nine a good time for us to go check out the lights?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said distractedly and then stepped past Jonas to grab my coffee thermos. “See you tomorrow,” I said over my shoulder as I hurried out of there.
“Mace!”
I cringed at the sound of Jonas’s voice behind me but forced myself to stop and turn.
“You forgot your check,” he said, the envelope clenched between his fingers. “You okay?” he asked as he handed it to me.
“All good,” I answered as I took the envelope, careful not to touch him since I didn’t trust myself at the moment not to drag him into my arms. It had been years since I’d been this off-balance and I could feel the crushing need to lose myself come over me. In the past I’d had the luxury of finding a warm body or a bottomless bottle of scotch or both to forget who I was, but since neither of those things were an option, I needed to get the hell out of there.
“Night,” I said without making eye contact with Jonas. I went through the motions of parking the van, but as I began walking towards my temporary apartment, I found myself stopping at a small, shabby liquor store. The feel of the paper wrapped bottle feltcomforting in my hand as I climbed the stairs to the rat trap I was staying in but I knew that I wouldn’t be drinking even a drop of it. The first thing I’d do after unlocking the door was dump every drop of the pretty amber colored liquid down the kitchen drain. I couldn’t explain why the ritual worked for me, it just did.
That was the plan anyway. But as soon as the door swung open, I knew I wasn’t alone. It took just seconds to pull my gun from my ankle holster since my other one was tucked away in my toolbox. I began methodically clearing each room as I moved towards the back of the small apartment but once I reached the bathroom, I already suspected who my unwanted guest was. But when I stepped into the small room, I froze at the sight of the man holding my rifle, the barrel pointed in the same direction I’d been pointing it for the better part of a month. The scope that I had removed the day before was once again affixed to the gun. I glanced out the window and saw that Jonas was in his spot by the window, his paintbrush in hand, a blank canvas in front of him. At any other time, I would have been pleased to see him back to doing what he normally did, but in that moment all I felt was fear since I knew what an easy target he was. And Ronan Grisham wouldn’t hesitate to pull the trigger…nor would he miss.
I actually felt my hand tightening on my gun as my options fired through my brain. Would I really be willing to take the life of the man who’d saved mine?
“He is beautiful,” I heard Ronan murmur as he kept his eye on the scope. Tension rolled through me as I locked my eyes on his finger which was resting lightly on the trigger. He held there for several long seconds before he finally lifted his head and glanced over his shoulder at me. His eyes settled on my gun which I still had resting by my leg and I had no doubt that he knew exactly what I’d been contemplating. I didn’t relax even a little bit as he unfolded his big body and stood. Ronan was one of the most lethal men I knew and also one of the most unreadable so I didn’t move or even breathe as he closed the distance between us. It wasn’t until he handed the rifle to me that I finally took a breath.
“You should have kissed him when you had the chance,” Ronan said as he moved past me.
I flinched at the realization that he’d been watching me and Jonas when I’d gone to get ice for my hand. It took me several long seconds to get myself under control and follow him. I found him in the kitchen studying the bottle of liquor I’d left on the counter as I’d made my sweep of the apartment. It was foolish considering what had just transpired between us but him seeing the bottle of liquor actually made me feel ashamed.
Everything about Ronan was dark and dangerous. At 6’5’, he matched me in height and build but I knew from experience that he could take me in any fight. He was the only man I’d ever truly feared and not just because he could best me physically. He knew all of my weaknesses, and he knew that the things he’d done for me had bought and paid for my absolute, unquestioning loyalty…until now.
Ronan’s gray eyes finally shifted to me but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he pulled a business-sized envelope from his pocket and handed it to me. I leaned the rifle against the counter, making sure it was out of Ronan’s reach, and then tucked the revolver in the waistband of my pants.
“You wanted to know his connection to the Prescotts.”
I didn’t miss the fact that Ronan didn’t use Jonas’s name. There were several pages in the envelope but I knew within seconds of reading the first few lines what I was looking at. It was an email transcript between Jonas and Devlin Prescott.
I need you, Jonas. Our place. Tomorrow.
I can’t wait to feel you inside me again Devlin-
Disgust rolled through me as I flipped to the next email which was more of the same. The last page was a list of dates and the name of an expensive hotel in Manhattan. The dates lined up with the dates on the emails.
“How long has it been going on?” I asked.
“Benny found emails going back almost eight years…long before Prescott met his wife.”
Which would have made Jonas a teenager when the affairstarted. I was right when I’d guessed he’d been a victim who’d turned into an abuser himself.
“If you’re too close to this-”
“No,” I said sharply. “It’s done.” Even as I said the words, I wanted to call them back. But I couldn’t.
Because I’d finally run out of reasons not to finish what I’d started.
Chapter 7
