“Yes.”
It was hard to swallow the piece of meat I’d been chewing when he responded. I’d figured obligation was his reason for coming to see me early on after Trace’s death, but I’d hoped maybe things had changed.
I put down my fork and pushed my plate away. “Are you still practicing medicine?”
“No.”
The one word answers were frustrating but at least he wasn’t trying to evade my questions all together. I finally lifted my eyes and saw that Ronan had stopped eating and was staring at me. He had his arms braced on the table and his hands were pressed together. But he kept tapping the pads of his fingers together in a certain, rhythmic pattern.
“What do you do for work now?”
“Consulting,” he answered.
“What kind of consultants carry a gun?”
“The kind who know how to use them,” he quipped.
Irritation went through me and I reached for my plate and stood. I dumped the uneaten food into the garbage can and rinsed the plate before putting it in the dishwasher. I began cleaning up the rest of the dishes.
“Don’t ask the question if you’re not prepared to hear the answer,” I heard from behind me.
Anger went through me as I turned around to see Ronan putting his plate on the island that separated us.
“That wasn’t an answer and you fucking know it, Ronan,” I snapped. He stiffened and then straightened his body. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to intimidate me. I realized I didn’t care. “Here’s a question,” I said. “When did you become such a fucking coward?”
If not for the tension in his jaw and the darkness settling in his eyes, I would have thought him unaffected by the jab.
“You didn’t want me three years ago,” I bit out. “I get that. But not one word – not one fucking word to let me know that you were okay…to ask if I was okay?”
I snatched Ronan’s plate off the island and dropped it into the sink, not caring that it broke. “Watching me from the woods like some stalker-”
I didn’t get any further because Ronan grabbed me and spun me around and pushed me back against the counter. “You’re a smart guy, Seth,” he muttered even as his hands pinned mine next to my body. “You saw me in your bathroom,” he said as he dropped his mouth close to mine. “You felt me,” he nearly whispered against my lips. “Did it feel like I didn’t want you?”
I cursed my body for responding to his nearness, but I cursed the fact that I was so desperate to believe him even more.
“You wouldn’t let me touch you-”
“That’s about me, not you,” he interrupted. His mouth actually grazed the skin next to my lips as he spoke.
I wanted to ask what he meant, but I was too stunned to realize what he was admitting to. But my fledgling hope died a quick death as what he wasn’t saying hit me. He wanted me but he didn’twantto want me.
“I…I think you should go, Ronan,” I managed to say despite the sudden tightness in my throat.
Ronan hung there for a moment and I wished like hell he’d ignore my request and seal his mouth over mine. But then his hands fell from mine and he stepped back.
“Not until I get some answers,” he finally said.
I nodded because at that point, I was willing to do just about anything to get away from him for good.
Chapter 5
Ronan
To keepmyself from reaching for Seth again, I went around the island and retrieved the few remaining dishes from the table. Seth had turned his back to me by the time I got back to the sink and I was glad, because I needed both the physical and mental distance. I’d already made myself more vulnerable than I wanted to admit by revealing my aversion to being touched to Seth. It would have been easier to let him believe I didn’t want him but it was one lie I just couldn’t stomach.
“You said you were attacked in your office building’s garage – were you coming or going?” I asked.
“Going. I was on my lunch break.”
