If his voice had been more flirtatious, I would have been able to coolly dismiss him without a second thought. But the heavy thread of desire I heard had me wanting to do so much more than tell him something as simple as my name.
I was saved from doing anything when the elevator door opened and a couple of nurses got on. “Morning, Dr. Grisham,” the younger of the two nurses said with a wide smile as she gave me a once over and then actually giggled as she turned her attention back on her colleague.
“Morning,” I murmured in response. I couldn’t remember her name despite the many times she’d sent me her not-so-subtle message that she was interested in me. I’d expected Trace to move away from me when the ladies joined us, but he didn’t. To my dismay, he moved even closer and I barely stifled a moan when his fingers brushed mine. The sparks that flew were immediate and unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and the rush of having the other two occupants of the elevatorcar so close, yet so unaware, was heady. But Trace wasn’t just content with the minimal contact because his arm actually stretched out onto the handrail at our backs. To anyone else, he would have looked like he was just bracing himself as he leaned against it but behind my back, his hand was busy as it skimmed over my lower back before dipping down to slide over the curve of my ass. Even through the fabric of my doctor’s coat and pants, the shock of his touch reverberated through me.
I was barely aware of the elevator dinging as the door slid open or the nurses saying their goodbyes to me as they both stepped off the elevator. Before the door even finished closing, I turned on Trace with the intention of laying into him about his behavior but then his hand was snaking around the back of my neck and drawing me forward, and any argument I was about to make died in my throat as his tongue slipped between my lips. I’d been kissed plenty of times but what Trace was doing to me wasn’t kissing. He was owning me, consuming me, changing me. In that instant, I didn’t care that I had patients to see or rounds to finish or that there was even a fucking security camera in one corner of the elevator that was likely capturing everything Trace did to me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew the elevator doors had to be opening and closing over and over again since Trace had pressed nearly every single button on the panel, but I didn’t care about that either.
It was Trace who finally drew back from the heated kiss. “What’s your name?” he asked breathlessly.
“Ronan,” I responded without hesitation before I leaned forward to steal another kiss. He gave it to me before putting some space between our bodies.
“Have dinner with me tonight.”
The request registered but I was still too off balance to answer. Luckily, my beeper went off. The sound was so jarring that I yanked myself away from him and silenced the damn thing and checked the number. It was a stat call to the OR.
“I have to go,” I mumbled and it wasn’t until Trace handed me the medical chart I’d been reading that I realized I’d dropped it when he’d kissed me.
“Dinner?” Trace asked again as he grabbed my arm before I could escape out the elevator door as it slid open.
“Can’t, I’m working,” I said, glad that my common sense was finally coming back to me. Random hook-ups and dead-end relationships were one thingbut dinner with a guy who could fuck me up so completely with just one kiss…no way, not happening.
I tugged my arm free of Trace’s hold and forced myself to not look back as I hurried for the stairwell. I blew out my breath at the close call and then let the chaos of the OR engulf me as I began the process of scrubbing in for emergency surgery.
It wasn’t until a few hours later that I had the time to wonder if I’d blown a chance at something good…or at worst, a chance at some phenomenal sex. I had my answer as soon as I left the Surgery department intent on seeing the patient I hadn’t gotten to before the emergency page.
Because sitting on the small bench near the bank of elevators, was Trace.
“Ronan?”
Seth’s concerned voice knocked me from my thoughts and I looked up to see him walking down the stairs, his hair damp from his shower and wearing fresh clothes. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been leaning against the inside of the front door for while I’d gotten lost in the past, but even the brief memory of Trace had my gut churning and my skin crawling.
“Are you okay?” Seth asked as he came to a stop in front of me. He settled his hand on my arm and I couldn’t stop myself from yanking it away from him. I ignored his startled look and moved away from the door.
“I’m fine,” I muttered. “Just need to get cleaned up,” I said as I ran my hand through my wet hair. My clothes were soaked through but I felt hot all over, like I was burning up from the inside. It was a familiar feeling and I knew it would only get worse the longer I spent in Seth’s presence.
“Um, sure. Use any room you want,” Seth said quietly before finally turning away from me. It wasn’t until he was out of sight that the tension inside of me began to ease and the heat dissipated. I didn’t even realize my hands were clenched into fists until I reached for the handle to open the front door. I went back outside to my car to grab my bag and then made my way to the second floor where allthe bedrooms were located. I bypassed the master bedroom which I knew had belonged to Seth and Trace’s parents and ignored the next room as well, since it had been Trace’s room…our room on the occasions he and I had visited his family together. That left only one room – a guest room that also happened to be right next to Seth’s room.
The guest room was nearly as large as the other three bedrooms and was nicely furnished with an iron bed covered in thick, plush bedding, a flat-screen TV above the fireplace in the corner and a nice bay window overlooking the water. The attached bathroom wasn’t as big as Seth’s but had a nice shower and vanity. But just being in the room reminded me of what I’d done to Seth in his bathroom and I felt the shame crawl over me. I’d taken something that should have been special for Seth and turned it into something dark and ugly. And if I hadn’t seen his tears, I would have fucked him without hesitation right there against his bathroom counter. Revulsion went through me even as my dick responded to the memory of seeing Seth bent over for me, his tight ass on full display.
God, I was one sick fuck.
I stripped off my wet jacket and removed my double shoulder holster with my twin 9mm Glocks and placed it in my bag. I searched out a change of clothes and stripped off the rest of what I was wearing and climbed into the shower. The hot water did little to soothe the raw lust that was tearing through me. I tried to bring up Trace’s face as I began stroking my dick but all I could see was Seth, his head thrown back, his eyes closed as I took his thick shaft down my throat. He’d held nothing back as I’d wrenched his orgasm from him and then, just before I’d sent him over, he’d called out my name.
“Fuck!” I shouted as my balls drew up tight against my body and wave after wave of pleasure tore through me. I slapped my hand against the glass shower wall as jet after jet of come shot from my body. I fought to catch my breath and when I opened my eyes, I saw the proof of my release slowly sliding down the glass. An image of my come dripping out of Seth’s ass flashed through my brain and I felt my half hard dick twitch in response. I let out a foul curse andreached up to angle the shower head to wash away the thick white streams and then finished cleaning up.
I took my time getting dressed. It was barely six o’clock but I seriously debated just calling it a night. Not because I was tired but because I wasn’t sure I had the strength to face Seth again.
I actually laughed at the irony that my life had become. I’d spent nearly six years transforming myself into a man who would never again be crippled by fear. I could take down any opponent with any weapon I was given and I’d taken the lives of some of the most brutal of criminals with barely an afterthought. And yet, here I stood, afraid to confront an innocent, gentle young man because he held more power over me than any other living soul.
But I had good reason to fear Seth because I knew that all it would take was one touch…one perfect touch and I’d shatter into a million pieces. And there would be no coming back from that.
Chapter 4
Seth
I felttears stinging the backs of my eyes as I began pulling things out of the refrigerator for dinner. I hadn’t thought it possible that my day could get any worse after the mugging this afternoon but, oh, was I wrong. I’d been foolish to think that Ronan had shown up for any other reason than obligation, but my behavior in my bathroom had stolen the show because I’d actually believed for the briefest of moments that Ronan wanted me…not just anyone, not Trace…me. The fact that I wasn’t even an adequate placeholder had become clear when Ronan couldn’t get away from me fast enough in the front hallway. I’d thought he’d just been upset down by the beach when he’d pulled away from me after I’d touched him to get his attention, but when he’d done it again by the front door, I finally understood that I’d been utterly and completely wrong in thinking anything had changed since the day he’d walked out of my life three years ago.
I felt Bullet brush up against my leg and looked down to see his brown eyes watching me knowingly. My dog had a knack for sensing when my anxiety was starting to spike and had proven himself as more than just a pet over the years. I put down the knife I’d been using to chop vegetables and then slid down to sit on the floor, myback against the cabinet. Bullet instantly draped himself over my lap and tucked his head under my chin. I managed to stifle my tears but I didn’t hesitate to bury my face in his soft fur as I tried to get a hold of myself. The irony that the very dog Ronan had gifted me with shortly after Trace’s death was now my only source of comfort wasn’t lost on me.
