Seth rolled me to my back and began kissing his way down my body. He did what he often did which was give each of my individual scars his complete attention. It was something that had made me uncomfortable at first because I still struggled with the memories they brought forth. But like the day we’d gone to see his old house on Mercer Island, I’d realized Seth was giving me new memories to replace the old ones.
After Stan’s attack on Seth, we’d spent a few days in New York to deal with the authorities and to give Seth time to heal from the concussion he’d suffered. Daisy had easily found the two men who’d helped in the home invasion. One had been a serial rapist who’d been convicted of murdering his ex-girlfriend shortly after Seth’s parents were killed. The man had taken a plea and only served a few years in prison before he was paroled. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d been the one to rape and murder Seth’s mother. Mav had gladly accepted the job and the man was dead before Seth and I even left New York. The second man was a different story. He’d been the younger brother of the rapist and had stayed out of trouble after serving two years in prison for drug possession. I’d given Seth a choice on that one and he’d said to let the young man be since he’d been the only one of the three men to actually try to stop the assaults once they’d started. But I’d told Daisy to monitor him.
I’d had the last several days to consider what and who I wanted to be going forward. I’d always thought I could only be one or the other, but Seth had made me realize I didn’t have to choose. I hadn’t just been Ronan, the doctor before losing Trace and I hadn’t been just Ronan, the killer afterwards…I’d been a little bit of both with one just taking a more prominent role than the other. Seth had been right. I saved people. It was all I’d ever wanted to do.
While my organization would go on doing what it did best, Ihad no plans to pick up a gun again unless I absolutely had to. Mav had agreed to help me make decisions on the best way to handle all the incoming cases and my plan was to ask Hawke to deal with assigning the right man to the right job and pulling in new recruits who needed what Mace and I had needed so long ago.
I hadn’t heard from Hawke since he’d left New York and while that had me worried, I knew it wasn’t unusual. I’d been the same way, only now I had people who cared if I didn’t pick up the phone or return a text. Hawke would get there someday too.
Seth had thrived once he’d returned to the office a few days after getting back from New York. He’d known he still had a lot of work ahead of him to regain his employees’ trust and to get the company back on solid ground, but instead of trying to figure out how his father would have handled it, he focused on what he could bring to the table that would finally make the company his.
I hadn’t been as certain as I’d wrangled with the idea of giving up the life I’d been living. The idea of returning to medicine was intimidating, but I also knew it was something that ran in my blood. I wasn’t rushing into anything, but I had already started the process of figuring out what I needed to do to update my training.
“What are you thinking?” Seth murmured as he slid up my body and rested his chin on his folded arms.
“I’m thinking I want another new memory,” I said. “A good one,” I added. Seth understood what I meant and he traced his fingers over my lips.
“Tell me what you need,” he said softly.
“You,” I responded. “Every part of you.”
It took a moment for Seth to understand what I was asking, but instead of resisting, he said, “Are you sure?”
I reached down to draw him up so his lips were hovering over mine. “Make me yours, Seth. In every way.”
Seth ghosted a kiss over my lips and then settled his hands on the side of my face so he could hold me still for his next kiss. But it was so much more than that. It was him telling me what I needed to hear. That no matter what happened next, everything we had was perfect just as it was.
I’d toyed with the idea of asking Seth to make love to me after I’d come so close to losing him. The physical damage to my body hadn’t been permanent, but I’d given up on the idea of ever letting anyone inside of me again because I simply knew I wouldn’t be able to give someone that level of power over me. But Seth wasn’t someone.
He was the only one.
And I knew he could take the pain of what had happened to me out in the desert and replace it with something beautiful.
Seth kissed me for a long time before he began working my body into a simmering pool of need. He and I had fucked in so many different ways, positions and locations, that I couldn’t keep track of them all, but this would always be my favorite. This slow burn as we worshipped each other, as we healed each other.
I managed to hold it together as Seth took me into his mouth, but just as I was about to come, he pulled off of me and kissed his way back up my body. He took his time kissing me some more and then he started the process all over again. When he swallowed me down a second time, I begged and pleaded with him to let me come. But he was ruthless and pulled off of me with a pop. The lube was already sitting on the nightstand so when he grabbed it, I forced back the tension that shot through me. But Seth felt it anyway. I dragged him down before he could speak and I rolled him onto his back.
“I know you’ll stop if I ask you to, Seth. I’m not going to keep quiet if I can’t do this. I swear.” Seth nodded.
I kissed him again and reached between our bodies to palm his dick. My own cock had wilted a little bit as my fear had started to inch up, but Seth was rock hard and pulsing in my hand. I teased him a few times like he had me and he let out a groan when I pressed my dick against his and began jerking us off together. My need came back quickly, so I only gave us a few tugs and then I rolled onto my back again. Seth crawled between my legs and gently urged me to lift and separate them. I automatically tensed up as his finger played with my hole, but when I saw Seth scoot farther down the bed, I nearly bit my lip as I realizedwhat he was doing. It was something I’d done to him dozens of times.
I let out a ragged moan as his tongue licked my crease but it wasn’t until the tip pressed against my hole that I nearly bucked off the bed. Seth used his hands to separate my cheeks and pressed his whole mouth against me and then pressed his arms against my thighs to keep me in place. His tongue flicked at me repeatedly before he closed his mouth around my opening and sucked gently.
“Fuck, yes!” I shouted and I reached down to grab my own legs so I could spread myself wider for him. I hadn’t ever been rimmed before since it wasn’t something Trace had ever been into and the previous men in my life hadn’t been interested in my pleasure. So nothing prepared me for the ecstasy that rolled through me. And when Seth stiffened his tongue and pushed it into me, I nearly passed out from the pleasure. He licked as much of my insides as he could reach before giving me a few more gentle kisses that kept me on the edge, but didn’t drive me higher. When he reared back and reached for the lube, I knew I wouldn’t be stopping him.
I knew what to expect when Seth’s fingers began working into me and while there was no pain, I did have to struggle through a few moments of fear as my brain tried to send me back to the last time I’d been in this same position. But then Seth ordered me to open my eyes and I’d come back to the present and I’d relished the feel of him searching out and ultimately finding my prostate and gently massaging it.
“I’m too close,” I said huskily to him as he increased the pressure on my gland. Under any other circumstances, I would have been fine with him getting me off and then taking me until I came again, but this time I needed him more than I needed the release.
Seth prepared himself and then leaned over me and kissed me. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I returned and then he kissed me again as his hand moved between my legs and positioned his cock at my entrance. He took me slowly and his mouth never left mine, not even after he’d bottomed out inside of me and stilled. My body adjusted quickly and the burning sensation that I had always loved in the past, rolledthrough me. The tingling quickly followed and when Seth began to move, my skin lit up deliciously. Every part of me that Seth touched sparked with sensation. With it being Seth’s first time taking someone else, I’d expected him to fuck me quickly or struggle to find a rhythm that worked for both of us, but it didn’t happen. Our coming together was as natural as it could be, as if we’d been doing it for a lifetime. There was urgency, but finesse. There was need but there was something else too…something only he and I would ever share.
I closed my hands over the back of Seth’s arms as he continued to rock into me. His hand pressed between our bodies and wrapped gently around my dick and he began dragging up and down the sensitized skin at the same pace that he was fucking into me with. I had to stop kissing Seth as the need inside of me grew and I was forced to drag in more oxygen. I closed my eyes and pressed my head against the pillow, but the only place my brain went this time was the same place my body was…surrounded by Seth.
I came with little warning and as I cried out in blissful agony, Seth was there to drink down the sound. I felt his own release flood my inner walls as his free hand linked with mine on the bed. Seth groaned as his body finally took control and pumped into me over and over again, each slide of his dick causing aftershocks to roll through me.
He stayed on top of me and inside of me as he slowly brought me down with gentle kisses. I released the death grip I had on his hand and wrapped both my arms around him. I didn’t need words to tell him what I was feeling.
