“Barry…”
“Like he knew what you needed and I didn’t…” Barry whispered.
Warning bells started going off in my head as Barry’s eyes fell to my mouth.
“Barry-”
“You’re so beautiful, Seth,” Barry said as his finger trailed overmy lower lip. If it had been Ronan, I would have been all over him. With Barry, I just wanted to get away. But when I brought my hands up to remove his from my face, he grabbed them. The move was something I would have expected from Ronan, but I knew within seconds that wasn’t quite true because whereas Ronan’s hold on me hadn’t hurt, Barry’s did.
I tried saying Barry’s name one last time, but the second I opened my mouth, Barry’s lips slammed down on mine and his tongue shoved into my mouth. I was so caught off guard that I didn’t react and he must have taken my stillness as acquiescence because he leaned against me hard, his slightly greater weight pressing me down onto the desk. My head was spinning from the shock of what was happening and I shoved at him as hard as I could. But he still had a hold of my wrists so I couldn’t dislodge him. He pinned my hands to the desk and then he was thrusting his hips against me, his erection pressing into me. His sloppy, wet kiss was revolting and I was about to bite down on his tongue when his weight was ripped off of me. Barry let out a horrified shout as his body went flying and I managed to sit up just in time to see Ronan slam his fist into Barry’s face. Blood spurted from his nose but it didn’t slow down Ronan in the least as he punched Barry again. I managed to reach Ronan just as he pulled a gun out from his suit and put the barrel to Barry’s forehead. Barry and I both froze.
“Ronan, don’t,” I managed to whisper, afraid if I spoke any louder, he’d fire the gun. As much as I wanted Barry to suffer for what he’d tried to do to me, I didn’t want this.
I expected to see Ronan displaying some kind of anger or emotion but there was nothing. Everything about him was cool, calm and one hundred percent ice cold. That in itself was much more frightening than any rage he might have shown. Bullet had appeared by my side, but even the dog seemed to sense the tension because he didn’t move towards either man.
“Please,” I heard Barry croak.
I took a few steps forward and debated whether or not to touch Ronan. I said his name again but he didn’t respond and now that I was closer, I could see a fine tremor in his arm so maybe he wasn’tas emotionless as I’d thought. His finger was resting on the trigger just a little bit too comfortably. I held my breath as I finally reached out my hand to stroke over Ronan’s upper arm, the one that was wrapped around Barry’s throat, not the one holding the gun.
“Ronan,” I said softly again. He didn’t pull away from me like I expected, but he did finally draw the gun back just enough so it wasn’t digging into Barry’s forehead anymore.
“You come near him again, I will end you. Do you understand me?” Ronan asked, his voice low and even. But neither I nor Barry could mistake his tone for what it was – incredibly, undeniably dangerous.
With tears streaming down his face, Barry somehow managed to squeak out a “yes.”
I continued to hold my breath until Ronan stepped back. Barry slowly got to his feet and Bullet chose that moment to start snarling. Between Ronan and the dog, Barry began backing out of the room and as soon as he reached the doorway, he turned and ran. Ronan followed but since he stuffed his gun back into the holster I had to assume was under his suit jacket, I relaxed marginally and then sucked in a deep breath. When Ronan walked back into the room a moment later, I was trying to use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe the taste of Barry from my mouth. A mix of humiliation and shame went through me at the way Ronan looked at me and the need to escape was overwhelming.
“Um, I need to take Bullet for a walk,” I managed to say as I reached for the door that led to the patio. I fumbled with the lock as I felt Ronan come up behind me, but I managed to get it open before he touched me, though I wasn’t sure if that had been his plan. How ironic that that was what I’d been wanting from the moment he’d stepped into the den yesterday, but now the idea of his hands on me made me want to curl up in shame. Because what I really wanted more than anything right then was for him to kiss me so I could get the taste and feel of Barry out of my head.
I pushed out the door and walked around the covered in-ground pool. Bullet darted past me and began running towards the beach. On any other day, I would have smiled at my dog’s antics, but now Ijust envied his ability to get past the dangerous moment in the study so quickly.
“Seth,” I heard Ronan say gently from somewhere behind me but I just shook my head. I didn’t want kindness or pity or understanding.
“I just need a few minutes, okay, Ronan?” I managed to say once I realized Ronan was still behind me.
“Seth, just wait one second.”
I swallowed hard and forced myself to stop and face him. He was almost directly behind me, but I couldn’t make myself look at him. And when he tipped my face up, I actually closed my eyes. I waited for him to order me to open them but he didn’t say anything. There was no order, no apology, no asking if I was okay, nothing. It felt like minutes had passed, though I knew it had only been seconds. I was just about to pull free of his warm, firm touch when I felt his lips brush tentatively over mine. He paused for a moment, maybe waiting for my reaction, before doing it again. Only this time, his tongue stroked over the seam of my lips and I instantly opened for him. I kept my hands fisted at my sides so my touch wouldn’t send him running, but I couldn’t stop the pent-up sigh that escaped me as his tongue stroked over mine. The kiss was so sweet and reverent and moving, that I felt relief sweep through my whole body. It was a kiss I could take with me for the next several minutes as I tried to process what had happened. Even if Ronan couldn’t get Barry out of my head as easily as he’d gotten him out of my house, he sure as hell had managed to wipe away every last bitter taste of him.
Ronan finally released his hold on me and I opened my eyes. There was no pity or judgement. There was just understanding. The kiss had resolved nothing between us but he’d known I’d needed it.
“I’ll be here when you get back,” he said softly and then he was the one to turn away. I watched him walk back into the house and then I turned to follow Bullet down to the beach. I let my fingers press against my tingling lips as I cast a glance over my shoulder on the off chance that Ronan was watching me from the doorway.
He wasn’t.
Chapter 7
Ronan
Six yearsearlier
“Dr. Grisham?”
“Don’t call me that,” I automatically said as I turned away from the man standing at the motel room door and continued to struggle with the cap on the prescription bottle. “Here,” I said as I tossed my wallet at him. “Take whatever I owe you.”
I didn’t care when the man followed me into the room, although as I glanced at him again, I realized there could have been two men since my vision was fucked up. “How many of you do I see?” I asked stupidly as I searched for the bottle of vodka I’d put down somewhere when I’d gone to answer the door.
The man didn’t respond and truthfully, I didn’t give a shit because I’d finally gotten the cap off the pill bottle. But when I tried to dump the pain pills into my hand, none of them hit my skin and I stared in confusion at the array of white dots scattered around my feet.
