“Yeah, I just thought…” I shook my head, willing away the unsettled sensation. “Never mind. Let’s go home.”
Though I was drunk on her more than any of the alcohol I consumed, I let Sutton drive, but I stretched my arm over the console and kept my hand on her thigh the whole way home.
Combined with the long drive, the act of parking and heading inside made me feel like I was coming out of my skin. It took allof my dwindling self-control to hold myself back from throwing Sutton over my shoulder and dragging her to bed. But she looked like she wanted to say something, like her entire body was braced for some sort of confrontation, and I’d never rush her. Especially not in this situation.
Sutton walked into the living room after kicking off her shoes and hanging up her coat. Once settled on the couch, she patted the spot next to her. Like an eager puppy, I joined her, draping her legs across my lap, needing to touch her.
With a sigh, Sutton began speaking.
“Before we go any further, there are some things I need you to know.”
“Okay…”
“I haven’t been with anyone since…that night,” she admitted, averting her eyes as if afraid to witness my reaction.
I blinked in surprise. After her assault, we’d never been intimate again. I just hadn’t realized she’d never been intimate with anyone else either.
Slowly and gently, I grabbed her chin and turned her to face me.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“It’s none of my business what or who you’ve done in our time apart.”
“That’s the thing though, Lane. I haven’t doneanyone.”
I chuckled lightly and asked, “Why?”
Truthfully, I didn’t really care about the reasoning behind it. Not when that possessive beast in my chest was suddenlywideawake and grinning ferally at this incredible woman before us. She belonged to me. She hadalwaysbelonged to me.
“After the rape, I just couldn’t. I tried, but—” Her words choked off, and I reached for her hand. Sutton clung to me as she marshaled herself enough to continue.
“Every time their weight came down on top of me, I freaked. It just brought me right back to that frat house bedroom.”
We’d never discussed that night in any explicit detail. Since I’d been working in Dusk Valley, I’d arrived at the hospital after those useless cops had already taken her statement, and Sutton hadn’t been in a state of mind to share.
Plus, I hadn’t needed any more ammunition to want to wipe Ryan Boyd’s existence from the planet.
Everything Ididknow about that night I’d learned from her roommate. Sometime in those pre-dawn hours, she’d confided in me that Sutton had disappeared for a while shortly after midnight, and she got worried and went looking for her.
“I saw Ryan coming out of a room, looking smug and disheveled, and I justknewsomething was wrong. I found Sutton on the bed, half naked and basically catatonic. I’ll never forget how she flinched away from me. I know these things are fucking impossible to prove, but I brought her right here after getting her out of that house as discreetly as I could. Then I called you.”
“You did the right thing,” I assured her.
“I don’t know if I’m capable of giving up control like that anymore,” Sutton said, dragging me out of my memory.
“If you’re not ready,” I started carefully, “that’s okay. You don’t owe me anything, especially not this.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head vehemently. I frowned at her, confused. “I want this with you. There’s no one in the world I trust more than you, Lane.”
My heart swelled.
Fuck, I loved her.
“What do you need from me?”
I would give Sutton anything she asked for, whenever she asked.
