Her eyes widen, and she pulls on her arm. “Let go of me.” When I continue to hold her, she looks around frantically. “Look. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know but not here. You’re going to get me killed.” An address rolls off her tongue. “Tomorrow. 7 a.m. Don’t be late.”
She’s not Calla? I was so sure this time. A massive weight settles on my chest. Maybe my memory is more faulty than I realize.
She arches a brow, and I realize I haven’t answered her. “Seven.”
The second I release her, she’s gone. I stumble, and Phaedra grabs my arm to steady me. “Can’t breathe.” Pain moves like lightning through my chest.
Phaedra pulls me into her arms, holding me tightly. “I overheard. I’m so, so sorry,” she whispers again and again while I bury my face in her neck and work to push through the pain. Her hand strokes the back of my head softly.
“I thought…”
She holds a finger to my lips, then motions to the door. “I know. Let’s go back to your room.” Arms around each other, we slowly leave the crowded court.
This time there are no guards waiting outside my door. I scoff at the illusion of freedom and key in the code on the lock. Theone I installed. Can’t be too careful. This place is full of thieves and murderers. After relocking the door, I stumble over to the couch and sit, dropping my head into my hands.
“Drink?” Phaedra asks, and I wave a hand toward the small bar in the corner. “You thought she was your daughter, didn’t you?”
“I did,” I admit haltingly, raising my head.Damn.It’s so hard to let go of the hope that’s been fueling me for weeks. “When I saw her on Naxos, it was right after the beating they gave me. I thought I was hallucinating.”
I toss the liquor down my throat, hoping the burn of the scotch will wash away some of the pain. “It’s always her eyes. I used to think they were one of kind.” My short laugh is full of derision. “Turns out they’re a recessive gene, and more vampires than I thought have those same blue eyes.”
I blow out my breath. “I would have bet money it was her. But then again, I thought that of the first eleven too.” It’s hard to admit to her how many times over the years I thought I found my daughter.
“Eleven, huh?” she says, splashing more into my glass. I watch as she pours her own, then folds into the couch beside me. “I’m sorry. This is my fault. You two being separated.” She grabs my hand. “Nothing I say will make it right or better.”
The anguish she feels tugs at me, and I pull her into my arms. “Nobody has blamed themselves more than me. And believe me, it’s warranted.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. As you’ve probably heard Frederick mention, I was the King’s Commander. His right hand. Leader of his armies,” I say, mocking myself. “I was proud. Arrogant. Ruthless.”
I tilt my head back and swallow the rest of my drink. “Duty ruled my life. The extravagance of court held me in its thrall.What they asked of me, I delivered.” Bitterness makes my voice harsh. “So stupid. The moment my daughter was born, I should have returned to my estate in the country and left it all behind.”
“Do you miss being in charge of the king’s army?” she asks, cupping my cheek with her free hand.
“No,” I tell her, relieved to know it’s true. “For a long time, I did. Thought I was nothing without my command post.”
She brushes my hair back. “Living a life of regret is something I know only too well. But I don’t want to live that way anymore.” She hesitates, then continues. “And I don’t think you do either.”
I shake my head, tired of the isolation and hopeless yearning for the life I left behind. Not anymore. My daughter, yes. The life, no.
Unfolding her body, she stretches and yawns. “I can’t keep my eyes open. Come to bed. Get some sleep. Maybe we’ll have more answers in the morning.”
“Sleep,” I confirm, aching to hold her in my arms all night.
30
MATHIAS
I’m awake hours before the sun rises, holding her close and watching her sleep. Night still blankets the city, but even the darkness can’t hide her from me. The delicate curve of her brow. Soft lips I can still feel on mine. I shift restlessly. The weight of her in my arms barely registers, and yet the weight of us lying here together is momentous.
My mate, I marvel. Something I thought would never happen. I know she wants me to explain what it all means, but I want her to choose me because she can’t live without me, not because the universe has deemed her my perfect match. I don’t want to burden her with the knowledge that there will never be another for me.
Her long leg shifts, and I almost groan at the full press of her body against mine. One more inch and… I stop and close my eyes, counting to a thousand before I feel like I can open them without stripping her clothes off and sliding into her.
I glance down at the tempting globes. What the hell was I thinking when I bought silk pajamas? They mold to every curve she has. Not to mention the feel of the silk sensually sliding across my body.
Needing a distraction, I lie there, outlining contingencies, then adjusting and readjusting our plan based on what’s happened so far. After today, things will move fast.
