“Okay then.” I gather a deep breath as if I’m sucking in all the courage possible. “I wanted to see you because I...” I lick my lips. “I like you, Val.”
Silence greets my ears, and my nerves kick into high gear. Should I retract my statement?
No,she said don’t lie.But maybe I shouldn’t have been so blunt either? I could’ve left the part off about liking her and left it at wanting to see her.
“Could you reiterate that in a different way, so I understand what you’re really saying?”
I chuckle. “I like you romantically.”
More silence.You don’t get anywhere inlife by tiptoeing around. I need to be as forward as my hockey position.
“Val, you have to know how incredible you are. I don’t think I can spend more time with you andnotfall for you.”
“Jabari...” she whispers.
Is that a good or bad sign? The weight in my name sounds heavy, probably not a good thing. Disappointment curls around me.
“I don’t think we’re a good idea,” she finally says.
My hand tightens on my cell. “Can I ask why not?”
“You dated Jackie.”
“Yeah, when I was young and dumb. Not that dating her was dumb, butIwas. I didn’t have myself together. I was devoted to hockey only.” Javier’s voice echoes in my head about girl-sister code. Is this what this is about?
“My sister pretty much hates your guts right now, and I’m not sure how everyone else feels.”
“I think Fran likes me.”
She laughs. “Fran can befriend the grumpiest of humans. But, yes, she keeps asking if there’s something between us.”
“Is there? I mean, on your part? Is it only friendship?” I hold my breath, silently scolding myself for asking such a question.
She said we aren’t a good idea so maybe I should take the hint and end the conversation.Should,but I don’t want to.I want to know how much of an uphill battle I’m facing.
“Friendship is all I’m entertaining at the moment.”
My eyes close. “Is this honesty thing working both ways?” I have the feeling she’s being vague on purpose. Whether it’s to save face or spare my feelings, I’m not sure.
“Ugh. Why do you have to make sense at a time like this? Let me be vague and walk away unscathed.”
“I’m not trying to burn you. But I get your point. I’ll drop the topic.”
We sit silently for a minute until I can’t take the awkwardness any longer. “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. It’s just that today has been a lot, and ... I’m still processing everything.”
“Understood.”
“Really?” Relief fills her voice.
Does no one in her family allow her to process through life? As much as Iwantto push for her to feel the way I do, that would be unfair. We’re two different people who experience life in completely different ways. If I want any chance with Val, I need to learn to accept how she is from the jump instead of trying to change her. I’ll give her the space she needs and hope that it’s the right play to lead to a future romance. If not, I’ll have to accept that as well.
“Really. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” I ask.
“That sounds good.”
“Have a good night, Val.”
