Val says nothing. She simply rubs one hand up and down my back and threads her fingers through my hair. The motions are soothing. The comfort is enormous. The ache in my throat and the burn in my chest ease as I surrender to the feeling of being held.
Why is Val so nice to me? No doubt Jackie gave her a narrative that should have her running the other way. Yet she continues to be a friend in the midst of my darkest hours. I’m not sure anyone has ever done that for me. Not Raimo or Javier. Not even my mom, who’s always been too overcome by her own problems.
As the pain settles to a dull throb, my other senses kick into high gear. I just cried all over Val Elliott. Her shirt is probably soaked, yet she hasn’t stopped rubbing my back even though my tears have dried.
I’m not going to lie, I don’t want to break the hug. I don’t want to shift back to my cushion and give her the space she deserves. I want to bury my face in her neck and give in to the temptation of kissing her.
My thoughts slam to a halt.
Kissingher? Dude,since when have you thought of kissing ValElliott?Like a bucket of ice water, fear douses me. I pull back and clear my throat.
“Are you okay?” she asks softly.
“I will be,” I reply quietly. I’m not sure why speaking low feels right, but it does.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
No,becausenow I can’t get the idea of kissing youout of my head.I grab the curls at the top of my head, tugging until I feel aslight pain, before letting go. If that won’t shake off the romantic feelings creeping into my skull, then nothing will.
“Jabari?”
“My eyesight’s only going to get worse, Val.” My voice cracks.
She threads her fingers through mine and covers both with her other hand. I want to cling and never let go. The way my heart picks up speed lets me know I no longer have only friendly feelings for her. Hating to, butneedingto, I pull my hand away.
“I have no idea what you must be going through, but please don’t think you’re alone.” She moves a hand to my forearm.
Why does her touch feel like a brand? And how can I escape the feelings they evoke?
“Maybe I should be alone.” I shift back. “Your family doesn’t like me, Val. It’s not like I can show up at your house one day and take you to dinner. They’re going to want to know why you’re consorting with the enemy, and I don’t want to put you in that position to simply escape the fact Iamalone.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong. I willingly gave you my number, remember? AndIinvited you to church.”
“But do you plan on sitting with me, or will your family object if you do?”
I shove to my feet, needing to move. Too bad I can’t go skating, but now that Coach knows this isn’t reversible, my rink privileges have been revoked. Why don’t they just gut me already?
Still, I’ll search for other options. I can’tnotskate. It’s my life. There has to be a place near me. As it is, I’ve already had to stop my volunteering with the middle school hockey club. I’m tired of the losses.
“Jabari, I’ll tell Jackie, my family. I’ll figure out a way. I promise.” She sniffles.
Every single pent-up frustration falls to my feet. The sound of her tears makes me want to wrap her in my arms. I head back to the couch, counting the steps and angling my peripherals to make sure I’m sitting on a free cushion.
“Please don’t cry.”
She sniffles some more. “I’m not,” she cries.
“Real convincing, Val.” Her laugh is full of tears, but I’ll count it as a win. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?”
“An unlikely pair.”
“But friends?” I ask softly.
“The best,” she croaks. “Jabari?”
“Yeah?”
A sigh fills my ears. “What happened with Jackie? Can you tell me your side?”
