“And how does that connect with Jabari?” Mom asks.
“I know he can’t see the details of my face,” Val states matter-of-factly. “So why bother touching up my makeup? I could show up makeup-less, and he wouldn’t bat an eye. I can be myself around him, and that’s invaluable.”
My chest swells with pride. I’ve often felt like I have nothing to offer in this friendship, but after hearing that, all I want to do is hug her and let her know she can come over in her sweats anytime.
Okay,man,thatsounds a little weird.I’m not trying to be a creeper, just offer her a safe space to rest whenever she needs one.
I reach over and squeeze her hand, thankful she’s on my left. This eye has a little bit more visibility since the dark spot is smaller.
Mom clears her throat, and Val withdraws her hand.
“I’m glad you found a positive in this, Val. I must admit, I’m trying to do the same.” Mom sniffs.
My face must give away my feelings because Val reaches for my hand underneath the table. I grip it, hoping that Mom isn’t about to start sobbing and leave me to pick up the pieces.
“I think all we can do is look for the good. It’s something I always try to do even when perception tells me something different.”
Mom sighs. “Easier said than done.”
She means her depression. And I agree. For Mom it truly is easier to say than to do. Is she taking her medication? The question remains unasked because I don’t want to embarrass her in front of Val. She doesn’t like talking about her mental health, and I don’t want her to think I’m pitying her.
Like you thought she pitied you earlier?
Right. We’re both trying to navigate our illnesses together.
“Want to watch a movie?” I ask. Anything to move past the awkwardness and difficult line of questioning.
“Actually, I think I’ll dish up some dessert and head to my room. The long travel day is catching up.”
Ugh. I want to read her body language, anything to know that she’s telling the truth. I don’t want her to go back to her room and cry all by herself.
“You sure, Mom?”
“Yes.”
Is her voice upbeat?
“Enjoy the rest of your visit with Val. And, Val, it was lovely to meet you.”
“You too, Paula.”
As soon as my mom’s footsteps retreat, I turn toward Val. “Did she seem extra sad when she left? Do you think she’s really just tired?”
“I do. Don’t worry. She seemed fine.”
“‘Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional’?” I joke, quoting fromItalian Job.
Val laughs. “The opposite.”
“Good.” I let out a breath. If Val says don’t worry, I won’t.
“Do you really want to watch a movie?” she asks.
“I do. Too bad I’m just now getting the idea. You could’ve come over in your sweats and relaxed in my movie room.”
“You have a movie room?”
She sounds shocked. Why does she think I have all this money if not to have a movie room to impress the ladies?Are you trying toimpress her?No. We’re friends, I don’t have to worry about that. Isn’t that what I’ve been telling Mom?
