Jackie stands in my office doorway, a wary expression on her face. Part of me hopes that wariness is understanding she’s done wrong. But if this is still the same Jackie who insisted she had no part in lying to our family about Jabari, then she can go right back where she came from.
Maybe she’s just here forwork.
Right, there’s always that.
“Do you need something?” I ask.
A sheepish expression fills her face. “For you to look at me the same way you used to.”
“And how’s that?” I ask cautiously.
“Like my best friend. Like my sister.”
Was I her best friend or merely a convenient doormat? I rub my forehead, trying to get a sense of my emotions and how I feel.
“Youaremy sister. That’s never going to change.” And it won’t. We’ll be linked forever. “But I can’t be friends with a person who doesn’t understand or live out the wordspersonal accountability. I can’t be friends with someone who will lie to the family. Who only calls me when she needs something. Who only wants me to orbit her and doesn’t care about what’s going on in my life.”
The words fly free, and with each statement, weights lift off me. I’m unburdened. A little sad that I have to say this to my sister, but thankful I got it all out. I meet her gaze. “Now, if there’s something work related I can help you with, I’m all ears.”
“Val...” She clears her throat. “We’re sisters.”
Yeah, and I’m not going to give an inch even if it kills me. Yet the peacekeeping side of me is ready to cave. Thankfully, now I recognize keeping quiet to avoid conflict is a lot different from actually bringing peace to those around me. Jackie can take her sheepish expression and waltz back out of my office. I only want to deal with her if she can be honestandcontrite.
“I don’t have anything work related.”
I motion toward the door.
“Val...” She turns a remorseful gaze my way.
Her eyes have a puppy dog expression, as if the corners have actually turned downward. Her bottom lip begins to tremble. Before I can blink, she rushes forward and kneels before me.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have lied about Jabari cheating.”
“Why would you do that?” I’m trying not to sound accusatory, but the old hurt is welling right back up like Old Faithful.
She bites her lip and looks away. “He didn’t want me.”
“That’s not the story he told me.”
“He loved hockey more than me.”
Again with the excuses.
“Do you think not owning up to your part in this mess is going to make me love you any less? We’re sisters. I’ve had a built-in friend since I was born. But this”—I point back and forth between us—“is toxic right now. I need space if you’re not going to be a hundred percent honest.”
She stands and steps backward. “You sound like Isaac right now.”
My brother-in-law is right. I can’t imagine the hurt he’s going through, thinking his wife doesn’t love him. I pray they can fix it.
“Do you ever stop and think maybe we’re right?”
Hurt flits through her brown gaze but is gone before I can confirm what I saw. She folds her arms across the chest.
“Whatever. I agreed to get counseling because he threatened to leave.” Her lip trembles once more, the only sign she may be worried. “He wants to know that I want him, you know?”
I get it. I want to know she wants me around because I’m her sister and friend, not because I readily agree to watch my nephew or help her at work. “I hope counseling helps.”
“Me too. Can we forget about all this? Go back to the way it was?” she asks.
