“How much longer before Ash wakes up?” he asked.
I glanced at my smartwatch. “Probably twenty or thirty minutes.”
“Guess you’d better eat, unless you want me to grab her when she cries?”
“No.” I shook my head. “My responsibility.”
“But you have help.” Chris gave me a pointed stare.
I could practically hear his thoughts.“You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here as long as you need me.”Or something else that ran a ten on the chivalry scale. Seriously, howwasthis man still single? I wanted to take a step closer and reenact that moment we had at the Garden of the Gods yesterday.No you don’t. You’re essentially playing house right now. Of course your hormones are reacting. That’s all this is.
My face flamed at my thoughts. Did Chris think I was desperate? Had I imagined that look in his eyes?
“You okay?” Chris whispered. “You look upset.”
“I’m just wishing I could shut my thoughts down for the night, or at least for the length of a bathroom break.”
He chuckled. “You’ve got that many, huh?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”And they’re revolving around you.
“Maybe we should do something after dinner to distract you.”
“Like what?” Because wasn’t an almost toddler, a five-year-old, and a puppy enough? If I got any more distracted, I’d need to check into the nearest hotel to remember who I used to be.
My gut clenched.Oh my word.That wasn’t what I meant. I’d give anything for my sister to be alive and home with her kids again, but I didn’t want to go back to being alone. What kind of monster was I that I wasn’t thankful that people were around me, and I had a real purpose? I closed my eyes against the shame of the thought.
You had purpose before. You still helped people. Now you’re helping family.
“How about a movie?” Chris asked, interrupting my self-reprimand.
I eyed Cheye. “For all ages?”
“Of course.” Chris leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “I know how to stay in a kid-friendly lane.”
With a jaunty whistle, he turned away from me and set about dishing up dinner. Yet my brain was still focused on his nearness. That low whisper raised every nerve ending along my entire body. Then there were his words. Was he being kid-friendly on purpose ... withme? If so, what did that mean? I had so many questions and no answers. I wanted to ask ... and yet I didn’t.
“Can you grab the silverware?” Chris asked.
I blinked. “Right. Silverware.” I glanced at the table. “And napkins.”
“Thanks, Erykah.”
Do not shiver at the way he says your name. Do. Not.I shivered.
This man was going to unhinge me. I had to get out of this house. “You know, maybe instead of a movie, I’ll just take a walk around the neighborhood.”
Chris’s blue eyes pierced me. “By yourself?” There were many questions behind those two words.
I nodded. His gaze roamed my features, and sympathy replaced the worry. “Understood. You can go right after dinner, if you need to. I’ll take care of the girls.”
I really did need to. Because sitting here, knowing he would bless our food, then talk equally to me and Cheye would undo what little self-control I maintained. I wanted to gush how I had a crush on a guy I’d met by chance at a hamburger place and then at the governor’s mansion. I’ve watched enough movies to know some people would call it fate or destiny. Apparently, we’d left coincidence at the first meeting when we ran into each other a second time.
Still, having a crush on a guy was a big deal for me. I didn’t normally have any type of romantic feelings. Worse, I didn’t have a sister who could advise me anymore. I’d been the first person Ellynn had called when she’d met Asher. I’d been the first person Asher had talked to before he’d proposed. Now I was a lone island. My nieces were too young to confide in, and Charlie, well, he kind of talked back, but I didn’t think this conversation would prove to be in his wheelhouse. I needed someone real to talk to.
Are You there? Are You real?
But how did you talk to God? I knew prayer was the answer, because I’d seen Chris in action. But seriously, how did we communicate? Was there a back-and-forth action that happened between a human and a deity? That seemed so ... so ...wild. What made me think I was important enough to talk tothe God? I wasn’t. I was merely me.
