He shook his head again.
Why? He was such a good man. I’d had more joy in my life since he befriended me than I’d had in a really long time. My heart ached for him. I couldn’t imagine him not wanting abetter relationship with his mom ... the way I used to with mine. But there was also one other thing I didn’t understand.
“How are you so ... joyful, then? I’ve never seen you upset or even sad. You seem to live a solitary life like me and...” I didn’t want to admit that I was lonely. That sometimes sadness gripped me and all I wanted to do was climb in my bed and stay there. But I had a job that gave me a reason to get up every morning and not give in.
Ugh. You should’ve moved closer to Ellynn.
“Honestly, Jesus is the reason I can smile. He’s the reason I normally don’t feel lonely or abandoned.”
“Normally?” Did he have days like I did?
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Lately, I’ve felt a bit isolated.” He glanced at me. “My friends are engaged.” He shrugged. “It’s hard not to feel like the odd man out.”
“But that still means you aren’t alone.” I grimaced. Did that sound as pathetic and attention grabbing to him as it did to me?
But Chris merely reached over and grasped my hand. “You’re not alone anymore.”
Something fluttered in my middle and warmth spread through my entire being.
Just then, Ashlynn whimpered. I turned and saw her shifting in her car seat. The mirror also showed her eyelids fluttering.
“I think it’s mealtime.” I faced forward. “Are we near a stop? Cheyenne could probably use a bathroom break too.”
“Yeah. Let’s just stop for dinner. Then we can all fuel up and make it the rest of the way to our hotel.”
We stopped at a fast-food restaurant just as Ashlynn’s whimpers turned to full-fledged cries. I unbuckled her from the car seat, holding her close to me as I grabbed the diaper bag. I probably needed to figure out how to use one of those wraps Ellynn used.
Chris helped Cheyenne out of her seat and held her hand as we walked inside.
“I’m going to change Ash’s diaper.”
“Want me to order food for you?”
I glanced at the menu. “Yes, a number five, please.”
“On it.”
“Thanks, Chris.” I offered a smile that I hoped showed my fullest gratitude for all he was doing.
“No problem.”
He and Cheyenne went to stand in line, and I headed for the bathroom. Ash’s cries settled as I got her into a fresh diaper. I grabbed the bottle I’d pulled from the cooler and popped it into her mouth. Greedy sounds of sucking came as she attempted to wrap her pudgy hands around the bottle.
“She’s darling. How old is she?” A woman asked as I made my way toward our table.
I stopped and looked at the older woman. “Seven months.” Tears sprang to my eyes. Ellynn wouldn’t be here for Ashlynn’s first birthday. My breath shuddered as I attempted to take a steady breath.
“She looks just like you.”
My breath hitched. “O-oh. Th-thank you.”Do not cry, do not cry. Do. Not. Cry.
But I could feel the tears coming. I speed-walked away from the woman. Chris must have noticed something, because he stood and met me partway.
“What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” His gaze scanned the premises.
“A lady thought Ashlynn looked just like me.” My voice sounded scratchy to my ears.
Chris pulled me into a hug, and my chin quivered as I struggled to gain control. The last thing I wanted was to break down in the middle of this place and have people wonder what was wrong with me. Ash continued to eat undisturbed by Chris and me hugging with her nestled between us.
