“You love me,” I whispered.
Goose bumps broke out across my arms as the hairs on mybody raised in awareness. I wasn’t spooked, but right then, in that moment, I didnotfeel alone, even though there was no one else in the bathroom with me.
God is the Spirit, right?
I licked my lips. I couldn’t explain what I felt. There were no adequate words to describe the way my heart hammered and the way my skin prickled in recognition. I justknewI wasn’t alone.
God had been taking care to show me all the ways He was real. And even though I fully believed, He still showed up. Still answered my prayers. He saw me and knew I still needed confirmation when I doubted. How astonishing it was He cared enough to answer my prayer and not take Chris away from me.
Tears fell in relief. Gone were the ones of heartache; now I cried in pure gratitude. I bowed my head, letting myself pour out my thanks.
Thank You for the way You’ve revealed Yourself today. You saved Chris. You heard me. You provided a path to healing.
My breath shuddered. Knowing the many ways God continued to show up for me humbled me to my core. Never—well, besides Chris—had I had someone show up for me without question. The irony in that thought had me snort.I’dquestioned God repeatedly until I’d accepted all the ways He’d blessed me. A little part of me thought He’d stop then. He’d gotten me to admit I was wrong and He existed, and that would be the end.
But God showed up ...again.
Chris needs you.
Right. There was a man on the way to recovery who I wanted to be there for. I wanted me, not the nurse in recovery, to be the first person Chris saw when he woke. I turned on the water, splashing my face. Thank goodness I hadn’t put on makeup. Cheyenne hadn’t cared that my face was natural, and neither had Chris when he’d looked at me earlier. He’d been thankful for my presence. So I would go and be present.
I hurried to the recovery room and breathed out a sigh of relief. He hadn’t roused from the anesthesia yet.
“Dr. Kennedy?”
I turned and saw a nurse striding toward me. “They said I could give you an update. I’m Sam.”
“Nice to meet you.” I shook her hand. “Everything looking good?”
“Yes, ma’am. He should be coming out of it in a half hour if my guess is accurate.”
I grinned. “I’m sure it is.”
“Well, I have been doing this for twenty years, so I’d say I have it down to the minute. Do you need some water? Crackers?”
I couldn’t eat anything right now. I just wanted to see Chris’s blue eyes staring back at me. “A cup of water would be great. Thank you.”
“Of course. I already put a chair by his bedside.”
I walked to Chris’s bed and sat in the chair next to him. I ran my hand down his arm and covered it with my palm. Would he feel the warmth? Would he know he was safe? I hoped so.
“You did fantastic in surgery,” I whispered. “I’m so proud of you.”
I ran my hand through his hair. It was thick at the top, holding a slight curl at the ends. I’d been wanting to touch his hair forever but didn’t want to be that girl.
Then don’t. Soothe but don’t explore.
I stifled a chuckle. Maybe the relief at the knowledge he’d made it through surgery made me a little batty.
I gasped. The guys! They must be frantic. I pulled out my cell and opened a new text thread, adding everyone to the chain.
Erykah
Surgery went beautifully. He’s in recovery right now.
Lamont
Praise God.
