Me: I don’t think I can do this...
They had talked me into taking a hot bath to relax tonight, and before I got out of the car, Bella had suggested that I try out the rose toy while in the bath.I had put it on its charger as soon as I got home and was surprised how quickly it had charged during dinner.
Kensy: You totally can.It’s just a bath and a vibrator.You’ll be okay.
Bella: There’s no pressure, Vi.Just take a nice, hot, relaxing bath and call it good.You don’t have to use the toy if you don’t want to.
I tipped my head back and groaned because even though I loved how supportive they were being right now, I really needed them to be aggressive and tell me to do it.
Me: What if they know what I’m doing?
Bella: Is it supposed to be a secret bath?
Kensy: They’re not going to know what you’re doing unless you leave the bathroom door open and use the toy outside of the water.It’s quiet, and in the water, it’s nearly impossible to hear.Trust me.
Bella: She’s right.It’s one of the quieter toys.It comes in handy when you need to get off without advertising what you’re doing.Sometimes it’s just a solo performance, and no one needs to know they weren’t invited.
Me: Why am I so nervous about this and freaking out?
I stared at the rose toy sitting on the edge of the tub—the answer to my sexual frustration sitting there, taunting me to use it.
Bella: Because it’s new and different.It’s okay to be nervous.It’s also okay to go slow and ease into this.
Kensy: It’s also okay to rip the Band-Aid off and jump into the deep end.
Bella: Kens!!No!!Don’t be a bad influence.
Kensy: I’m not.I mean, what’s the worst that happens?She uses the rose and has a fucking incredible orgasm?I don’t think anyone in the world has ever complained of coming too good.
Me: Well, it’s not like I would have much to compare it to...
Me: Sorry, I drank a lot of wine.That was TMI.
Kensy: I saw you naked while you tried on clothes today—I think we’re well past the TMI part.
Me: YOU WHAT?
Kensy: It wasn’t technically my fault—you had left the curtain open a bit, and I caught a glimpse.
Me: Why didn’t you say something?
Kensy: Why embarrass you?
Me: Because you saw me NAKED!
Kensy: And???
Me: Isn’t that...
Me: I don’t know...
Me: Inappropriate?
Kensy: Did you forget that I do boudoir photography for a living?Trust me, I’ve seen enough naked bodies that it doesn’t bother me anymore.
Me: I know, but still.I’m your friend.
My heart hammered in my chest as I sent that because even though it felt like they were my friends, I wasn’t sure I was supposed to call them that.What if I were the only one who thought this was a true friendship, and they were only being nice to me because of Capshaw?
