“You didn’t?—”
“I did, Avery. I let it go too far. Well, too far, and notfar enough.” I chew the inside of my cheek, letting my eyes drop to the floor before finding hers again. “You always told me I need to speak what’s on my mind. And I didn’t do that. I wasn’t honest with you. I let you think that I’m still some idiot who doesn’t believe in anything long-term, and that just isn’t true anymore. Not after you, Avery. Because all I want to do is make you happy. I know you smile, like, all the time, but I want to keep it that way. I guess what I came here to tell you is that I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like some secret. You’re worth more than that. And I don’t just want to be your friend or a free room to you. And that’s all. Oh, yeah, and I?—”
“You don’t just want to be my friend?” Confusion warps her brow, and I wonder if I’ve overstepped. Consonants stammer from my mouth as I try to form a coherent word, but the landline behind the counter rings. She picks up the receiver with a shaking hand and holds it to her ear.
“McMurphy’s Home and Garden— Oh, hi, Scott. Yeah, today’s been fine, I— What?” Her jaw hangs open, her eyes wide. Each phrase she utters is filled with more disbelief and pause than the last. “The new what? Yeah, I think he just got here. Great. Thank you. Yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll make a good impression. Of course. Yes. Bye-bye.”
She hangs up, and when she turns back to me, I can’t keep the smile from my face.
“You bought McMurphy's?” she asks in disbelief.
I hesitate, then shrug. “I haven’t made enough reckless decisions lately.”
“Apparently.” She blinks a few times before pulling adrawer open. “He said to give you the keys and show you the ropes.”
“The ropes, huh?”
“Considering I’m moving home to Crestwood at the end of the week, someone's gonna have to take over. But maybe you guys haven’t discussed that far ahead.”
The air in this musty shop thins. Avery’s leaving the city?
“I mean, the paperwork’s been filed. McMurphy’s Home and Garden is now officially under my name. I knew staff was sparse, but I didn’t think you were it.”
“Since Mary’s accident, the shop has been closed half the week. And since Sprout Sitting by Avery is bombing, and I’m not a cheerleader anymore…” She shrugs. “Between Scott and I, we’ve managed to keep the doors open.”
“And the shelves emptied, I see.”
She frowns at me, unamused. “What are you doing, Ty? I know you have no real interest in plants?—”
“I have since meeting you.” Her eyes flick up to meet mine, and it takes everything in me not to wrap my arms around her and pull her to my chest in an attempt to squeeze out any pain left in them. “Despite how hard I know she can be to be around, I love Mary. I love her shop, and I just… I know how much you love it too. And her.” A laugh escapes me at the realization of how much Avery loves that cranky old bat, so I add, “And I think that’s something I love about you.”
“You love that I love Mary?”
“I mean, yeah, kind of. In all honesty, she’s a little bitunlovable. And you might be the only one besides Scott that thinks of her in that way.”
She scoffs, and the way her nose wrinkles makes me melt right into the ruddy floor below.
“In all honesty though, I was a little sad to see this place close too. Mary has worked too hard for it to just shut down forever—regardless of howunapproachableshe can be.” Avery eyes me, so I push forward, pleading my case before she won’t hear any more of it. My words spill out in true Avery-fashion, and I’m happy that she’s rubbed off on me at least in that way. “And I figured that maybe you needed a steady job and maybe you’d want to stick around Vista City. And now that we don’t have our careers in the way?—”
“Wait.” She escapes from behind the counter and is standing in front of me in no time flat. “You bought me a home and garden center?”
“I mean, kind of. Yeah. I guess I did.”
“You bought this place to buyme?!” Her tone pitches up, and I have a hard time telling if she’s excited or offended.
“I’m not buyingyou. I just knew this place wouldn’t make it without that old bird flying around here as much. Plus, I’m a bit of a plant guy myself, in case you haven’t noticed.”
At first I can’t read her expression, and then I realize that she’s in shock. Usually she’s the one throwing the curveballs, but today it’s me. A hint of undeniable excitement fizzes over, warming her stunned face and clearing any insecurities I had over committing to such a biggesture. The rejection I’d feared is nowhere in sight, furthering what I’ve come to know to be true: If I can be vulnerable with anyone, it’s her.
“I don’t know what to… YouboughtMcMurphy’s?” she stammers as it sinks in.
I nod. “You love this place, and you deserve to have the things you love. I’m sorry the Kings cheerleaders didn’t work out, but?—”
“Would you let it go?” Her tone throws me off guard, and I fear there’s more she’s holding back, more things laced within that frenzied reply that she can’t bring herself to say out loud.It?Orher?Does she want me to lethergo? She sucks in a breath so deep I’m surprised she doesn’t choke on it. And I’m even more surprised when she doesn’t hold it. Everything feels so tense. Like if one of us breathes wrong, that’s it. It’ll tip the scale, knocking us into an imbalance we’ll never come back from. Everything is so out of whack, so notus.But I guess there never really has been an us, and the thought tears me apart. How could I have felt so close to someone who was never mine?
“Sometimes the plans we make don’t pan out, and that’s okay. Really, it’sfine. It took getting fired for me to fully admit to myself that my Kings dreams were based off of what I thought would appease someone else. That most of my life has consisted of me morphing myself to fit expectations of others, and I’m done doing that. Sure, once upon a time, I loved dance, but I’ve found new things to love.” Her gaze is heavy with unspoken confession as she lets out a shaky sigh. “This is too much, Ty. Buying this place because you feel bad—that’s how we got into this mess, butit’s okay. I don’t need you to do anything for me anymore. Don’t worry about me.”
From our chest-to-chest proximity, I already see the tears welling in her eyes. Those pretty lips pressed tight, her face void of that sunny smile I’ve grown to love. She’s being as open as she can be, given the circumstances. Still, I can’t help but feel as though she may be holding back, that she isn’t telling the full truth. Avery, the one who is always an open book, who always encouraged me to say what’s on my mind, is holding back. The thought that she’s guarding herself from me stings. This is my cue to not screw it up, to not do what I did last time. Avery is waiting on me, and it’s time I finally tear down these walls. What are they there for, anyway? If they cost me Avery, were they ever truly worth it? Living with a hardened heart is painful enough, but life without her is the worst fate.
