“It’s only an hour, and you of all people should know how roommates can be. It’s hard to live with others sometimes. She needs a change of scenery all around.”
“She can’t stick it out until her lease is up?”
“I don’t know why you’re giving me such a hard time about this, Avery. We didn’t complain when you decided to drop out of school and move on to the next thing like it was nothing. We all supported you, let you live here well-past your welcome. And now it’s time you do the same for Ellie. She needs us. And she needs a bigger room.”
The annoyance in her voice builds, and despite being hundreds of miles away, I cower back and do what has become second nature for me within my family. I cave. Because it’s easier to give in than to convince them my opinion matters too. Folding under Mom’s pressure has always been my fatal flaw, and just like with Ellie, Mom won’t give up so easily once she’s had a vision of what our lives should be. Expecting my parents to leave my room untouched is silly. It’s not like I need it. I’d rather sleep in my car again than move home, but I can’t help but feel brushed aside, forgotten for the new dream Mom’s burdened my sister with.
“I guess…” I paste on a smile out of habit, as though she can see me through the phone. “Yeah. Yes. She does. You’re right. Of course Ellie can use my room.”
She sighs, relieved. “Oh good. We knew you’d be okay with it. We put your trophies in the attic. In the good part. The side without the loose insulation.”
“Thanks.”
“Did you need me to send more money?”
My stomach plummets. She barely makes enough to pay the mortgage, let alone send any to her adult daughter to keep her off the streets. Which reminds me, I won’t be telling her about the whole sleeping-in-my-car mishap. Ever.
“No, thank you. I’m fine.”
“You sure? It’s not a problem. I know how tough it’s been for you to hang onto a job.” Genuine concern contorts her tone.
The sentiment hurts, but I know she means well. It’s amazing how unbothered she is by me being a freckle-faced parasite since graduating high school. Being a Kings cheerleader is the boost I needed to remind me that I can survive in the dang city. I’ll be totally fine. I’m competent. I just wish my family believed that as much as I do.
I let out a long sigh, eager to change the subject. “I’m sure. How was hanging out with Ellie today?”
She chatters on about her thrifting date with my sister, and my chest squeezes. Even though they were kind of jerks with the whole bet thing—and Ellie commandeering my bedroom—I’m jealous. I’m only three hours away, but when I miss them, I might as well be living in another universe.
Careening through the streets of Vista City, my stomach twists with every turn. I’d never mention it out loud—especially to my mom—but everything about being a cheerleader for a pro team is the opposite of what I usually go for… Rigid schedules, tough rules, black and white stakes. It’s just not veryAvery.My mom drones on about something new now, and I drive mindlessly, trying toconvince myself that it’s simply misplaced excitement. I’m definitely not having any reservations. If my higher-ups caught so much as a whiff of apprehension, I’m as good as gone.
And then you’ll be exactly what you’ve always been, Avery. Distracted. Defeated. Alone.
Mom finally stops talking, and I wedge my way back into the conversation with a breathy laugh. “I’m glad you and Ellie have been having fun. I miss you guys. But I’m almost to work.”
“How’s that business venture going, by the way?”
“Oh, it’s… it’s going! I have a new high-profile client that I think will help keep me afloat.” I leave out the part about how my most recent client could get me fired from my other job or that my reviews lately have been less than stellar.
“Well, that’s just great, honey. Remember, you can always become an administrative assistant or something. Maybe at a dental office? I hear some of them offer great healthcare benefits. The team just says you have to be full-time somewhere, right?”
“Full-time or a student.” I hope my tone stays chipper as my brain seeps back into negative territory… I’m probably the least successful cheerleader on the team. The girls are go-getters. With bachelor’s degrees and master’s, and some already out in the workforce as nurses and whatever. And where am I? Floundering, watering plants. I let myself venture back into that dark place, and I imagine myself in another life. Sitting behind a front desk, getting yelled at for processing the wrong credit card. Calling insurance companies who will no doubt deny procedures. Getting yelled at again. On top of all the yelling and calling, the last thing I want to do is sit behind some gray desk in a gray carpeted room with ash-colored walls again. I would never survive.
“Mom, I’m pulling up to McMurphy’s. I’ll text you later, okay?”
“You’re still helping that grump out?”
“Mom! Mary’s not grumpy. She’s just… crotchety.”
“Is that better?” My mom laughs. “Love you. Bye!”
“Love you!”
She hangs up as I park outside McMurphy's Home and Garden. It’s a quaint place. A little rundown, but most of the shops are in this part of town. The pay isn’t great, but money is money, and I can learn a lot from the owner.
A tinny bell rings overhead as I push through the glass door.
“Hello! I’m here!” I sing-song.
“Ack! The bells are enough.” Her gait is uneven as she pushes through the beaded curtain that leads to the back room. She has a cane today.
