“Um, no. It’s a man and why do you always bring that up?”
“Because that’s lowkey the most memorable shit you’ve ever had besides that goof troop ass nigga you keep around. You only get secretive when it comes to her ass too.”
Jordyn shook her head. “Well, it’s not her and I told you I’m never messing with that crazy bitch again.”
“Good. So who is he? Does Remy know him?”
“No, and he isn’t meeting him. Neither are you. I feel like every time I introduce y’all to somebody you stand together and pick them apart. When I met Journee and Selah, I gave both of them chances and grew to like them in my own way. Moral of the story, I give chances, neither of you do. Where is that fair?”
“Life isn’t fair.”
“Yep, and see? With that attitude I will not be introducing him to you until I’m ready.”
I laughed, not bothering to respond. Jordyn had a fucked-up type. It was like she loved fucking with motherfuckers with potential not yet seen or tapped into. She messed with losers and it wasn’t just niggas. The chicks she went for were fucked up even worse. She always said I had mommy issues. Well shit, if I did, I knew for a fact she had issues with her father.
By the timeI finally made it home, it was late and I fully expected Selah to be asleep. Unc was in the kitchen when I walked in, tearing into the lemon protein bars Selah had tried out for me.
“You’ve been doing good, but I can tell you’ve been distracted. You wanna talk about it?” He stuffed a piece of the bar into his mouth.
I shook my head. “Nah. I’m good. Promise.” I didn’t want to talk to him or anybody else about a baby I hadn’t yet discussed with the woman carrying it.
He stared at me for a long period before nodding. “I love you, son. Whatever it is, just know I’m here.”
“I know.” He was moving past me and patting my back on his way out of the kitchen.
“And tell Selah to keep the protein bars coming, even though I’d absolutely love a 7-Up cake. Put a good word in for an old man, would you?” He was gone quickly thereafter, leaving me to go to the room to check on Selah. To my shock, she wasn’t in there, which meant she was downstairs in the movie room.
Instead of going right down, I stripped down and found something comfortable to put on. I was looking for my slides, but when I didn’t see them in my closet, I already knew Selah had them. She loved putting my shit on.
A few minutes later I was descending the stairs to the basement. I didn’t hear the TV and the lights were off, meaning she was asleep. However, when I turned the corner into the room, I found her curled up in the corner of the sofa staring at her phone. Whatever she was looking at had all of her attention,so much that she hadn’t realized I’d entered the room until I spoke.
“Thought your ass was knocked out.”
She sat up, cutting her eyes from her phone to me. “I was on my way, but Siyah sent me this damn cake idea for my niece’s birthday.” Her face soured.
I laughed. “What’s the problem?”
“She wants a four-tier cake with a damn Barbie in the middle. She’s at that phase where she’s obsessed with princesses.”
I nodded, not yet approaching where she sat because this was the perfect time to get what I had been thinking about off my mind.
“Why are you all the way over there?”
“Because I need to talk to you about something. When I’m in your space I tend to do less speaking and more touching.” I winked at her and she giggled.
“Okay then, talk, because I still want to watch this mov?—”
“I want our baby, with you.”
That statement shut her up quickly. Her lips literally popped shut.
“I know we haven’t talked about it, and you haven’t brought it up because of me, and I’m sorry for that. I probably made you think I didn’t want our baby, but I do. I let my overprocessing and childhood trauma cloud what’s right in front of me. When I was a kid, all I could remember about my mother was her inability to stay or be present with me or my father. When she was home with us, it was like she was unhappy and full of regret. Even as a child I could tell she didn’t want to be with us. She’d rather be elsewhere. And sometimes she did just that, disappearing for months at a time. She chose whatever life she had over us. When she got sick, she stayed with us and died soon after.”
“Indi—” she started but I held up my hand to stop her.
“When my father died, he told me that he wasn’t my biological father. He’d known because though he loved my mother she’d never loved him. I also found out that G and Jade weren’t only my cousins but my siblings a little after Reminisce and Rennix popped up. We all shared a biological father. My mother stepped out on my father with her sister’s husband, a drunk nigga going nowhere fast. He’s dead now too, as of about two months ago.”
She was on her feet in seconds. “Indiri, I’m never going to leave you. I am not your mother and I’m sorry she missed out on the man you are today. I’m sorry they all missed out, but I promise you I’m going to love you with everything in me because I already do. This baby was created out of that love, from us. If we’re going off time, this happened fast but for once that doesn’t matter to me. This matters to me.” She pointed to my chest.
