“What are you doing out here?” she asked.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I said back angrily, because after all this time, here she was.
“Get inside,” she commanded.
“Where have you been?” I asked instead, refusing to move, mostly because my butt was so numb from sitting on the cold stone steps for so long I couldn’t feel it anymore.
“Do you need help getting up?” Cole asked.
“That’s not an answer,” I challenged.
“I’ve been doing my job, Harriet,” she said.
“Is part of your job ignoring me?” I asked. My nose ran from the cold, and I wiped it on the sleeve of my jacket. I didn’t care if it was gross.
Cole looked away.
“You can’t even look at me,” I said, pushing myself angrily to a stand and regretting it as I lost my balance and fell back down. “Fuck!” I said, more embarrassed than hurt.
Cole tried to help me back up, but I hit her hands away.
“Don’t touch me,” I told her.
“What do you want, Harriet? You must want something to have waited out here long enough to fall asleep,” she said.
“Why have you been ignoring me?” I asked as I got back to my feet more steadily.
“I’ve been working, not ignoring you,” she answered.
“I’m meant to believe that?” I asked.
“It’s the truth. I don’t have the time to be at your beck and call. I have a job, responsibilities,” she said frustratedly.
“You’ve been… working?” I asked.
Had she really just been working? Unconcerned with me? While I had been obsessing over her, desperate to see her, to smell her, to be near her, she wasn’t even thinking of me.
“It was an apology,” I said.
“What was an apology?” she asked.
“The croissant,” I answered.
“Okay, you need to get inside; you’ve been out in the cold too long, and you aren’t making sense or behaving rationally,” she said, stepping forward and ushering me inside with her arms out wide like she was moving an animal.
“I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot,” I said quietly, speaking to myself.
The warmth of the house hit me like a wave of heat.
“How long were you outside?” Cole asked.
I sat on the little stool near the shoe rack and struggled with numb fingers to undo the laces of my shoes.
Cole knelt, moved my hands out of the way, and undid the laces, removing my shoes for me. It reminded me of my first day with her.
“Harriet,” she said, getting my attention. “You’re beginning to worry me. What’s wrong?” she asked.
I laughed humorously.
