Alpha instincts. I always thought it was bullshit, personally. An excuse for inexcusable behaviour. And I thought most alphas that claimed to be overwhelmed by instinct were using it as such.
But Cole.
She had made it clear she didn’t want this.
Clear that she was handing me back.
The true mate bond wasn’t enough.
Still, was there anything more powerful in terms of producing an instinctive response than a true mate?
Alpha instincts were always used as an excuse for an alpha taking something that wasn’t theirs, for using force to get what they want. The truth of it was that an alpha's instincts didn’t take control; it gave it away.
Had I forced her?
Coerced her in some way when I challenged her, when I said she wasn’t my real Alpha?
My head hurt.
I felt sick.
No wonder she had left so quickly and hadn’t returned.
I needed to find Cole. Needed to tell her it didn’t have to mean anything. That she didn’t have to follow through on what it meant.
It was an archaic concept anyway to be marked.
If she didn’t want me, she wasn’t obligated—not by some scar.
I got up and dressed for the day, finding my only other set of clothes, the previous day’s torn and scattered across the bedroom.
Cole was nowhere in the cabin. I’d half expected to find her out on the back porch, maybe even in the hot tub or in the bathroom.
I was alone.
I put my jacket on at the door and lifted up the collar to hide the marking. Part of me was repulsed by the thought of hiding it; my own instinct was to show it. To let everyone see her mark, her claim on me. But the logical part of me recognised that it would likely draw attention and questions that would lead back to Cole and only further her regret.
I knocked on the door of Darren’s cabin. He would know where Cole was or help me find her.
I fixed the collar of the jacket and pulled my hair over my shoulders as I waited for him to answer.
I knocked again, losing patience. Where was he? Without me?
There was no answer.
“He’s at the arm-wrestling event,” Alpha Sara said as I was walking away from his cabin.
She was exiting her cabin.
“Can I help you with something?” she asked.
I tried to think of something to say, but nerves made me take a beat too long to speak, and suddenly Alpha Sara was walking towards me.
“Uh, no. I was just bored and wanted to know if he’d like to do something,” I said as she approached.
“While it’s not an event I’d find entertaining, it is open to all spectators, though challengers are organised by sex and presentation. It’s taking place at Community Hall 3,” she told me.
“Thank you,” I said.
