My foot shiftedfrom first to second to third, then fourth gear on an old dirt bike I stole from a junkyard last year. I finally finished fixing it up and decided to take it for a spin through the woods behind our house. I tore through the trees, racing at a rapid and unsafe speed.
All I could see were the memories attacking my mind at full throttle. I barely slept last night, still reeling from that damn cookbook.
The faint sound of a train’s horn in the distance let me know I was right on track. I began riding beside them, revving the throttle harder and faster, shifting into fifth gear, trying to push it to the limit. Pulling back the accelerator as far as it would go, I shredded onto the train tracks.
There was an endless stream of plaguing emotions clouding my mind and assaulting my body, fueling me to go faster. My vision tunneled, desperately wanting to escape the shit I was handed. If I thought things were bad before, I was wrong.
Everything changed for the worse with just her mere presence in a way I never imagined. The black cat I shared a wall with wasbeginning to claw at my skin, ripping into the hollow where my heart once lived.
Growling deep within my chest, I battled my feelings. Speeding quicker on the train tracks, I tried to outrun those sentiments.
Needing…
Anything…
Something…
The front tire steered side to side, navigating the rough and narrow tracks. I could feel the motor vibrating against my bones as I continued to push the engine beyond the max. Never letting up, I remained persistent and adamant about distancing myself from these reckless thoughts.
They were always overpowering my head.
Controlling my actions.
Deciding on the outcome.
I didn’t need this baggage, hating that I had to carry it like it was a badge of honor and not a steel chain I couldn’t break.
Wildlife came to life around me as if the animals knew trouble was on the horizon, making me think of Isla.
Nothing but fucking trouble.
The horn of the train was no longer at a distance, no longer echoing through the cold breeze, no… now it was right in front of me.
Blaring.
Blasting.
Sounding off.
Woooooooooo! Wooooooooooo!The train whistled, flickering the beaming headlight, warning me to get off the tracks, but I didn’t heed the warning. I decided to play with it instead.
I gunned the throttle, triggering my tires to skid across the rocks as I reached top speed. Swerving from one side to the next, I practically dumped my bike to the ground, almost dragging my knees with it. I didn't let up, jumping the tracks a few times to catch air, causing the suspension to protest when I landed.
The bike was screaming no.
My mind was yelling yes.
My body was in autopilot, like it’d been most of my life.
The motor revved up and down with every jump and bump I hit.
The train whistled louder, two long, one short, followed by one long bellow.
Woooooooooo! Wooooooooooo!
The RPMs on my bike were spinning out of control, rising higher and higher, causing the bike to shake as I lost myself to the intense game. Another horn sounded even closer this time, piercing through the evening sun.
Woooooooooo! Wooooooooooo!
