I took a deep breath, seeing the clock on the wall read almost one in the morning. It was usually the time Julius came back. He always had a snack for me, whether it was chocolate or chips. I started looking forward to it despite trying like hell not to let it get to me. Having a friend was different from what I thought it would be. I didn’t realize it’d be so terrifying, worried about losing someone who mattered. It was the scariest sensation, but that didn’t stop me from embracing it.
I’d been alone for so long that his friendship was steady, comforting, and easy.
There wasn’t a lot I could do to return the favor. I did what I could. I cleaned.
Everything.
Anything.
I kept the place spotless although Julius insisted that I didn’t have to do it. I wanted to, and I reminded him of that. It gave me something to keep my mind occupied, away from a future I didn’t want to acknowledge. For right now, I chose to hide in a house that never offered any protection to anyone but me, and that much was obvious.
I tried not to snoop, I really did. However, I was only human, and anytime I’d clean, I’d end up finding something new, like a half-used bottle of women’s perfume or a pink hairbrush, even a pair of oldslippers. They were simple things to overlook and easy to toss out. Most were hidden under the couch or in the back of a cabinet.
As I was cleaning the garage that morning, organizing the boxes onto the shelves, one of the tops popped open, and a recipe book was right on top. I reached in and grabbed it. It was coated in dust, so I wiped it off. The recipes were all different, and when I found one that had ingredients we already had, I was in the kitchen cooking before I knew what I was doing.
Once again, I just wanted to show my appreciation. It was only spaghetti, but it was the first meal I’d ever made. Since Julius was usually home late, I cooked it late, wanting it to be fresh and warm for him.
I jumped off the couch, running to pull the garlic bread out of the oven. It was perfect timing. Once I stepped foot into the kitchen, the garage door opened, revealing Kraven instead.
Our eyes locked as I stood there frozen, impatiently waiting for his wrath like always. Rather than experiencing that, I received something else in its place. His gaze didn’t linger on me for very long, shifting to the recipe book on the counter instead.
His stare went wide, drawing in sadness for a brief second. The expression on his face betrayed that something deeper was going on, and I didn’t overlook the fact that he was openly showing me his torment.
I instantly wanted to apologize.
To explain.
To make it right.
Pleading my case wouldn’t matter. It was clear that the recipe book meant more than I could have ever imagined. Where Julius never made me feel like I had to speak, Kraven did.
My lips were about to move. For the first time, silence wasn’t my resolve; it was my affliction. My mouth opened at the same time that Julius’s footsteps walked into the kitchen behind me. His stare was focused solely on the recipe book, too, narrowing tightly like he was fighting some sort of déjà vu.
Right in front of me, two brothers waged war with demons I couldn’t see, only felt. I was caught in the crossfire between the pastand the present. The scent of spaghetti filled the room, simply adding more anguish to a situation I wished I hadn’t started. This was all my fault.
Julius walked toward the oven, opening it to take out the garlic bread. He set it on the stove and then grabbed the recipe book.
Glancing at Kraven before meeting my eyes, he asked, “Where did you find this?”
I nodded to the garage.
In two strides, Kraven snatched the book out of his brother’s hand. His silence was louder than any yelling he could have been doing, while his movements were precise and calculated.
Still not uttering a word, he lifted the pot and bread.
We both knew what he was about to do as Julius stressed, “Kraven, don’t?—”
With one hard toss, he threw it in the garbage. The sound of metal clashing against the can echoed through the kitchen. I couldn’t help but shudder. It was such a loud statement. The recipe book was next. Kraven didn’t hesitate, not for one second. In a harsh, brutal gesture, he slammed that book into the trash as if it were a final nail in the coffin.
I felt like I meddled with something so sacred yet so broken.
His chest heaved as he spun to face me. “That book should have stayed buried, and if you don’t get out of my fucking face,” Kraven roared, “you’re going to be next,Isla.”
I sucked in a breath as Julius stepped out in front of me. Once again taking the bullet meant for me, he shielded me from the agony I unknowingly inflicted on both of them.
I learned that night that Julius could hide his emotions, while Kraven let his emotions eat him alive. At some point, Julius must have told him my name because this was the first time he used it.
“Every time you stand in front of her,” Kraven seethed at Julius, “you’re turning your back on me.”
