She’d danced this number before.
She knew the whole damn routine like the back of her hand.
This wasn’t the first time she went MIA. She and Joe loved going on benders and not being home for days at a time. This was just the first time she had vanished for years.
I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her, and I just needed to remember that. My flying off the handle would only let her know she was getting to me, and I refused to give her the satisfaction.
Fuck her.
“It’s like jail food in there.”
“You would know.”
She giggled again. “Have you been eating in there at all? You look famished.”
“What’s it to you?”
“Kraven…” She eyed me, grinning. “How about we start over, okay? Tell me about school.”
“School?”
“Yeah, catch me up on your life. What’s going on?”
“Alright.” I gave in, folding my arms over my chest. “I’m ajuvenile delinquent, and you just signed me out of a detention center. How do you think it’s going?”
“Kraven, you’ve always been a handful. Do you remember that time I lost you at the store?”
“Yeah, you were high and lost me.”
She shook her head, laughing and ignoring me. “You hid under the clothes rack. You’ve always been a little troublemaker.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Ah! Witty too. My boy.” She caressed my face. “I love you.”
Hearing her say that did something to me—it wasn’t necessarily a good thing, and it wasn’t a bad one either. I was somewhere between feeling like she kicked me in the balls and then sliced me open to see what she left behind. Using the same knife she used to cut us out of her life.
Except it was still dripping, echoing loudly in the room.
I didn’t move her hand this time. It felt soft against my skin.
“I know you still love me. I’m your mommy. Don’t you remember all the good times?”
“You mean the ones when you used to leave us with strangers to go buy drugs?” I sarcastically smiled, adding, “Those were the best.”
“What about all the birthday parties! You know what?” She squeezed my face. “We should have a party! Like old times! We can invite the whole neighborhood! You and Julius can play for everyone!” She spun around the room, swaying her dress.
I was sideswiped with yet another memory of how she used to do this exact thing.
“It will be perfect! I’ll plan and do everything!”
I shook off the memory, eliciting these emotions I spent years running from.
“That sounds like my worst nightmare.”
She caressed my cheek one last time before she cracked the eggs into the pan. “You’re so stubborn. Just like your father.”
“Fuck him.”
