This is normal. This is grounding.
My eyes drift toward the hallway, and I quickly refocus on the screen.
Another channel. Asia-Pacific. Trade negotiations. A weather map that looks nothing like Florida. Good.
I check headlines the way some people check scores. Not because I need to, but because it keeps me oriented. It reminds me there is a world operating on systems larger than whatever’s happening in this house. To stay current, I have a weekly call with my father and grandmother.
I’m tuned in, but still, I notice when the water in the bathroom turns off. When Lucy’s voice rises briefly, then settles. When Hildy’s tone shifts into a story-reading cadence, softer and more rhythmic.
I don’t turn the volume up.
A breaking news banner scrolls across the bottom of the screen. I read it twice, then a third time, making sure I’ve actually absorbed it. I have. It’s fine.
I switch channels again, not because I need to, but because movement feels safer than stillness.
I tell myself I’m just catching up. I tell myself I’m not listening for footsteps. Both things can be true.
I wake to the sound of a cupboard shutting, followed by the steady trickle of water running in the bathroom. The television hums softly in the background, the clock on the wall reading eight thirty. I sit up with a groan, stretching my limbs to shake off the remnants of sleep.
“Goodnigh—”
“I doubt we’ll find another quiet moment like this to discuss,” her gasp interrupts me, causing me to pause before adding, “The book.”
“Trust me, von Hohenwald, you might want to give me a few days to sort through everything I’m feeling about your little game.”
“I assure you, I am not a game player.”
“You literally play a game for a living,” she retorts, gesturing toward the kitchen island. “And instead of being upfront, you left a clue like some kind of puzzle, opting to disguise yourself and,” she raises her hands dramatically, “Catfish me.”
I cross my arms defensively. “I take offense at the sheer absurdity of that accusation.”
She sets the water bottle down on the island, mirroring my stance with her arms crossed. It’s unsettling how attractive I find her defiance. “You wear glasses?”
“I do not.”
“So that was indeed a disguise.”
“I—”
“You introduce yourself to friends as von?—”
“I do not, because in that world, I am simply myself. In the one where I met you, I was fulfilling my duty as—” I pause.
“Oh, please continue, or don’t. I’ll save you the trouble. I looked you up.”
“That is within your rights.”
“Do you tell your other one-night stands your full name or?—”
“I never would have guessed that a woman of your intelligence and education would be so upset over a consensual night with a man who gave her multiple… multiples to act wronged.” Her jaw drops, and I press on. “Clearly, I was mistaken to think leaving an invitation would open the door to a conversation you were avoiding because you felt I was trying to be deceptive.”
“I wasn’t avoiding anything; I’m here doing what’s best for Lucy. How dare you imply otherwise? Had you been honest, I would have never taken you up on that invitation.”
“There’s no way you didn’t see me and recognize who I was. I suspected you were theRothaarigeat Thanksgiving and assumed you’d been warned away from me due to the friendship dynamic.”
“Were what?”
I ignore that and explain further. “I told Kilovac I thought you were someone I knew. He informed me that you were off-limits because you were Fairfax adjacent. I assumed you’d had a similar conversation with Sofie.”
