Cullen hesitated. "If I’m still…mostly myself…why did I want to attack Walker?" He remembered that night far too vividly, remembered Leviathan snapping his ankle, the blood burning his throat, remembered Leviathan petting his hairas he teased Dom about his new toy.
And he remembered the bloodlust that had filled him when he had laid eyes on his friends. He'd tried to warn Walker as he moved toward him, had tried to tell him that he wanted to hurt him. Or rather the darkness that had seeped into his brain had wanted to hurt him. Cullen had forced his boyfriend’s name out of his raw throat…and then sprang at him. He’d buried his teeth in him and moaned at the taste of the blood, the fear, and he’d been so angry that Leviathan had pulled him away…
He winced, remembering what Walker had said to him afterwards. From that, and from being turned into a demon and spirited away to gods knew where, he assumed their relationship was over. He had cried about that for a long, long time. He hadn’t known a breakup could hurt so bad. Could feel like somebody had carved out part of his chest and left him hollow and weak…
"It's just like that when you first turn.” Leviathan responded quietly, pulling him from his thoughts. “Your body acknowledges that you need blood and flesh to survive, and it goes after the first thing you see. Once you get the taste of blood, you calm somewhat. But from now on, the taste or scent of blood will always send you into a frenzy." He paused then, clearly holding back some other piece of information. "Well, it does get a bit easier to control with time. But..." He shrugged.
Cullen sighed. Then there was definitely no way he could go back to them. Being a Diviner often ended in bloodshed. He didn't want to fight with his friends only to end up gnawing on them because they'd gotten a little cut up.
"But…Iamstill me?" He asked quietly. "I feel like me but…"
Leviathan’s face softened slightly. "You're still Cullen. You're just a bit more blood thirsty now."
He nodded slowly. He wouldn't bother to ask if there was a way to change back. Even if there was, Leviathan would never tell him.
He forced his throat to move, to swallow. "When you grow bored of me, what will happen? Will you kill me?" He hoped it was as simple as that.
Leviathan shook his head. "I won’t grow tired of you.”
A small shiver ran through him at how sure he sounded. “But if you do–”
“I won’t.” He said flatly. “And if I did…" He frowned, his head tilting to the side as he looked at Cullen. "I imagine by that point I'll simply send you out into the world on your own. But don't count on it, pet. You're mine. You're not going anywhere."
Cullen’s lips trembled. He drew in a slow breath to calm himself. "I don't want to be here."
"I know." He seemed unbothered by this.
Cullen’s teeth snapped together. "Will you force me to hurt people?"
"Probably not." Leviathan said after a slight pause.
Cullen winced and then braced himself. "Will you force me to…do other things?" He'd touched him several times without his permission now, so he had already guessed the answer. But he wanted to try to be prepared for it.
"No."
Cullen tensed. "But you keep grabbing at me…"
"So? I've stopped when you said to."
"I tell you to stop before you ever lay your hands on me and you ignore me."
He smiled. It pulled up too far again. "Well. You are mynew toy, and I very much want to play with you. I've got to convince you somehow. What better way than to give you a taste of what I can do for you?"
The words brought a harsh heat rushing to his face. "I don't want you to touch me."
Leviathan sat forward slowly, resting his elbow on the table, his chin on his hand. "That is not something I care about, Cullen. I won't force myself into you, but everything else is fair play. I'm going to keep at it until you give in to me. And then I'm going to fuck you senseless. And you're going to love every second."
Cullen felt a twitch in his gut that made his eyes go wide. He jumped to his feet, leaving the room without a word, not trusting his voice. He heard Leviathan’s low chuckle behind him.
"See you at breakfast, Cull."
13
Cullen paced back and forth anxiously in his room, running his hands through his hair over and over again. He'd thought Leviathan answering some of his questions would have calmed him–and it had at first. But the last thing he had said was drilling right into his mind, repeating itself over and over again.
That is not something I care about, Cullen. I'm going to keep at it until you give in to me.
The words made him shudder. Made him sick to his stomach as he pictured what it would mean to give in to Leviathan. He could only imagine how violent and grotesque a Prince of Hell could be in the bedroom. He didn't want to find out for himself, didn't want those memories to soil his memories of Walker. He had been with no one else and he definitely didn't want to jump from sweet, gentle Walker to a violent sociopath that would most likely hurt him badly.
