“Exactly,” I concurred.
“I wish things were different, but I understand. You gotta make sure you’re in the right place. Otherwise, ya life will never be truly happy. At some point, you’ll look back and regret either choosing the wrong one or letting go of the right one.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “It’s funny that I’on even have to question how you feel about Ma.”
“Hell, nah.” He snickered. “I chose right, and so did she. We’ve never regretted what we have and never will. She’s my lifeand I’m hers. That’s how it should be. Everything else is more blessings added to the blessing that our relationship already is.”
“I heard that,” I chimed.
Pops moved on to other things as I stared at Pen’s text messages. While I wanted to give in and respond to her other messages, I didn’t. One thing I wasn’t going to do was let her think shit was cool between us when it wasn’t.
PENELOPE
Exhaustion was the only thing that helped me find sleep last night. Otherwise, I would’ve tossed and turned the night away, reflecting on the way I’d treated Zoo. This morning, I woke up surprised to see him not lying next to me. Then it dawned on me that I’d basically told him to go fuck himself.
After preparing my own breakfast and sitting inside my empty house, I sighed in regret. I sat on the sofa with the television down, watching sports highlights. My face flashed across the screen, and for a second, I was tempted to turn the volume up. Deciding against it, I watched my best highlights from last night, cringing at a couple of the plays.
The vibration of my cell phone had my heart galloping in my chest thinking it was Zoo.
Mimi:Come over when you leave practice.
Me:Ok.
Meanwhile, Zoo hadn’t replied to any of my messages and it clearly showed he’d read every last one of them. The only thing he texted back was for me to stop calling him Zeus. My stomachrolled just by knowing Zoo was purposely ignoring me. I stared at my phone, thinking it would vibrate at any time, and it would be him apologizing for ignoring my message. But no, he hadn’t texted me back yet, and honestly, I was worried as hell.
Needing to get to practice, I hurriedly dressed and rushed to the practice stadium. Bri looked like she was ready for war, and I could imagine why. She wasn’t pleased with any of our performances yesterday. The lashing we took in the locker room after the game yesterday still burned my ears. Nevertheless, it was her job to keep us in line.
Practice started cool, but halfway through, Zoo fell on my mind again. I was ready to get to my phone to see if he’d messaged me back. If he hadn’t, then I’d call him to see if he answered. My heart would be broken if he didn’t answer my call because Zoo never missed my calls.
“PJ!” Coach barked. “Where’s your head?”
The ball flew past me with me missing a pass I’d caught plenty of times. Sweaty and tired, I bent over with my hands on my knees to catch my breath. Smoothing my hair back out of my face, I stood back up and planted my hands on my hips. Everyone on the court had their eyes on me.
“I’m good, Coach,” I uttered.
Bri eyed me a few more seconds before blowing her whistle to resume practice. With what felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders, I made it through practice. Seeing my phone free of any missed calls or messages made my eyes sting.
On the way back home, I mustered up the courage to call Zoo. His phone rang three times before he answered. I breathed a sigh of relief and actually smiled when I heard his gruff voice.
“‘Sup?”
“I’ve been messaging you,” I said as if he hadn’t seen his missed messages.
“Yeah,” was his response.
Heart sinking, I replied, “Can we talk, Zoo? I need to apologize for the way I acted last night.”
“So, apologize,” he simply stated.
“Over the phone?” I questioned.
Several beats passed before he said, “Over the phone.”
My eyes misted, distorting the traffic in front of me as I stopped for a red light. Zoo sounded so cold and mean…not anything like the Zoo I’d come to…love.
“I apologize for the things I said to you. You’ve been nothing but a good friend to me, and you didn’t deserve me coming at you the way I did. I just feel like I have so much weight on me, and instead of finding something productive to do with my feelings, I let them get the best of me. I took my frustrations out on you and not once did you deserve it. Just because I’m overwhelmed and stressed doesn’t give me the right to say any of the things I said to you. I’m so sorry.”
By now, I had tears running down my face while admitting that I was overwhelmed. If it wasn’t for the call still showing active, I would’ve thought Zoo had hung up. He was so quiet. This side of him was foreign to me. I hated it.
