I always told myself that if I ever got one, I’d make the most of it. I owe it to past me—the one who sacrificed a full stomach for a warm apartment, who woke up every day without knowing if it would be worse than the day before. That’s why I devoured all the knowledge I could, so if I ever saw an opportunity to take the leap towards a different future, I wouldn’t fall.
I sit on the tangled roots of the tree and tilt my head back as the sun warms the cooling sweat on my skin, when something breaks the surface of the water, but all I see are ripples coming closer to lap at the shore. Just as I begin to close my eyes, something moves under the water and I freeze.
That’s… a big fish.
Hang on.
That’s not a fucking fish.
It’s the guy from the stairwell, one of Killian’s buddies.
Buzzcut.
I guess I should probably know their names if I’m supposed to be scared of them.
His lean body cuts through the water, and I can’t tear my eyes from the way his muscles flex and move as he swims. A sudden sense of yearning lodges in my throat.
He’s beautiful, in the same way the mirrored edge of a honed knife tapers to a deadly point, and all that remains after he cuts you open are the scars carved into your skin that you trace in the lonely dark, remembering the burn of his touch. But it’s notjust the vision of his body that makes my stomach twist—it’s the envy, the jealousy that he can swim so effortlessly when I’ve always wanted to learn but never could.
I’ll add that to my list of things to learn while I’m here.
He disappears under the surface again, and despite knowing that I should leave—this peaceful moment under the dawn no longer between me and the fading twilight—I can’t will my body to move from the shade of the tree. Instead, I rest my chin on my knees and curl my arms around my legs, and watch as he laps the lake, admiring his strength and precision.
The silence shatters like glass when my phone goes off with a new text. He whips around and his eyes widen when he spots me, clearly having been caught unaware. Unsure of what I’m supposed to do, I brush the dirt off my leggings and stand, figuring whatever’s about to happen is best done face to face. He glides closer, eyes locked on me like a homing beacon and I step back into the tree, feeling its rough, jagged bark abrade my skin. Water sluices down the hard planes of his chest as he climbs out of the lake, tattooed skin pebbling in the cool air, making the silver bars pierced through his nipples even more prominent.
“What are you doing here?” he asks in that same rasping voice I remember, but there’s an accusatory edge to it.
“I—just out for a jog. Wanted to watch the sunrise,” I manage to get out, desperately trying to drag my eyes away from his body. His blue eye seems to flash in the light and I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind in the world’s shittiest attempt to fill the awkward silence. “You’re a really good swimmer.”
He stares at me for a moment before his eyes harden, and his lips curl into a cruel smile. “You’re gonna have to do better than that.”
Which, honestly? Rude. That has no business being so hot, until I finally realize what he said.
“What?”
He scoffs, almost in disbelief, and runs his hands over his buzzed hair. “‘You’re a good swimmer’? That’s the line you go with?” I frown, confused, but he continues. “You’ll need to put in some more effort before I’d even consider fucking you.”
Fucking what now?
“That’s—”
“I’ve seen you panting after Killian. You think just because he’ll fuck anything with a hole that you can wear some tight ass pants and follow me around, I’ll chase after you too?”
“No, I—” but he cuts me off again.
“Better women have tried and failed,” he sneers, giving me a once over, and despite my oversized sweatshirt and spandex pants, I feel entirely too exposed.
“For fuck’s sake, I was just trying to catch my breath and watch the fucking sunrise!” I shout before he can interrupt me again, and his eyes widen. “This is all real rich coming from the asshole that grabbed me and blew smoke in my face, who’s besties with the asshole that nearly strangled me, and the other asshole practically stalking me. I never asked for any of this shit!” My lungs burn as I inhale the cold air too quickly, out of breath.
But he just shakes his head. “You’re delusional if you think any of us would fall for this pathetic, ‘hard to get’ act,” he snarls, arms caging me against the tree until droplets of water drip onto my sweater. “No magic. No family name. Why would anyone want to fuck a social-climbing whore looking for her next payout?” he seethes. I duck under his arm and turn back to face him, any sense of self-preservation completely forgotten.
“Why would anyone want to fuck an arrogant, drugged up trust fund baby who thinks he’s God’s gift to women?” He stills like his brain’s just shorted out. “You’ve got some goddamned audacity to act like you own a whole fucking lake, and you think I’m delusional? Be fucking for real right now.” I laugh withoutan ounce of humor. His mouth opens and closes, but when he doesn’t say anything, I shake my head and make my way back to the path. When I look back, he’s gone, nothing but ripples on the surface proving he was ever there.
I start jogging again, trying to burn off my anger, and hurt, if I’m being honest with myself. I’ve done nothing to deserve being called a “social-climbing whore”. I’ve only been here a week. I’ve done my best to stay out of everyone’s way, to be invisible. But this merry band of assholes won’t let me slip away.
It’s probably just a fucking game to them, one that I couldn’t hope to ever understand. In fact, I know it’s just a game for Killian. I’d just hoped I could wait him out until the next girl caught his eye, but he’s proving more tenacious than I expected, and I’m approaching unfamiliar territory. When anyone in Lynden ever got a little too persistent, there was always something I could do about it. Here, I feel like a damn pinball ricocheting off the bumpers at every turn.
The exertion of running does nothing to calm my frustration and I let out an exasperated groan as the Temple I’ve read about comes into view. But it’s the cliffs just beyond that draw me closer to the edge.
