“Fucking peachy.”
He laughs softly. “Will you look at me, pretty girl?”
No. I’m not going to just go along and pretend?—
“Please?”
Motherfucker.
“What, Killian. What more could youpossiblywant from me?” I hate the way my voice wavers when I finally meet his eyes.
“I wanted to check on you.”
“Why, Killian.”
“Because… I fucking—I can’t stop thinking about?—”
“How you left before your cum stopped dripping out of me?” He looks down at his hands. “How you took care of me when—” My throat burns as I choke on the memories of that night, strangled by the words that pour out. “How you said you would stay. And thenthankedme for a good fuck. ‘Stress relief’, you said. ‘Nothing serious’.”
He’s quiet for a moment, then nods and says softly, “Yeah, Nyx. That.” He looks up at me then, eyes full of some unnamed emotion I don’t care enough to figure out. “I’m sorry. For all of it.”
I scoff at this fucking farce of an apology and sit up, cradling my broken arm. “It took you three weeks to come up with that? Jesus Christ.”
He brushes his hair back and straightens with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Nyx. I couldn’t—I wasn’t—fuck,” he hisses out. “I had to figure some shit out, okay? And hearing how you almost fuckingdied,” He gestures outside the tent, “…put things in perspective. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
“Yeah? What’d you figure out, Killian, enlighten me.”
“I told you that night—I told you it meant nothing. It didn’t.” He says quietly, then more forcefully, “itdoesn’t.”
“Use your big boy words and spit it the fuckout, Killian.What do you want?”
He looks at me like he actually cares. “I want to show you how serious I am about you meaning something to me.”
My jaw drops at his admission, the heavy silence between us falling down, down, down into a chasm that can’t be crossed.
“Please, baby.”
He looks so hopeful.
“Say something, pretty girl.”
So eager.
But I’m not going to make that mistake again.
Not with him.
Not with Ramsey.
Not with any of them.
The light in his eyes dims as that chasm between us only deepens.
“I’m not your pretty girl, Killian. I’m not your baby girl. I’m not your anything.”
He shakes his head, as if he could stop my rejection if he just tried hard enough. “Nyx, please...”
My heart bleeds at his pleading, but I’ve bled enough from my own stupidity, letting them get close enough to hurt me like they have. I’m not going to hand him the knife so he can finish the job.
