Kaia: Will do, babe.
Wondering if she made the right decision, she shoved her phone back where she got it from. She didn’t want Kaia to think she didn’t care about him, but her heart felt so shattered. Her head wasn’t in the right placeto take such a monumental step. As much as she wanted to text him and say she changed her mind, she refused to let him or anyone else pressure her. Just more proof that she was mean and evil.
She tipped her head back, blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall again.
The door opened and Rebel straightened, swiping at a stray tear, expecting her little brother. Instead of Axel, Diesel walked outside. They regarded each other. He stood directly underneath the beam of one of the lights right outside the door, allowing her to see the sadness in his gray eyes. They were normally stormy and intense, but pain and wariness filled them. He stared at her, waiting, still wanting her to give in.
Pressing her lips together, she shook her head, capitulating a fraction so he’d leave her in peace.
He shoved his fingers through his dark hair, perpetually tousled. Sexy. Even when it was freshly cut.
She’d dreamed a lot about Diesel, touched herself to those waking fantasies. Touched herself in ways no one was ever supposed to see.
“Say something, Rebel.”
She shook her head, wishing Axel hadn’t called the one person she didn’t want to see. Her nostrils flared and tears stung her eyes.
“It’s my birthday,” he told her. “Always a cause to celebrate in our household. Please…” Heclosed his eyes. “Talk to be. it won’t be the same if you don’t offer me greetings.”
Hating the pressurehewas putting on her, she glowered at him. It wasn’t Diesel’s birthday. It was break Rebel down day. First Kaia and now him.
He looked at her again, his expression open and vulnerable. “I’ll only turn thirty once. If you don’t say anything to me ever again, I’m begging you to wish me well on this birthday.”
Diesel begging her or anyone else should’ve been a win. He was so fucking arrogant, Rebel was surprised he was even able to say that word. It just left her sadder.
As much as she’d hung onto his every word mere days ago, she felt nothing but a deep emptiness now. She was wrung out with the ashes of life as she’d known it, smoldering at her feet. In five months, her worldview had altered ten times over.
In November, she’d almost lost her mother and little sister.
At the beginning of December, she’d lost one of her best friends to bitchery.
Mid-December, her perception of her father was forever altered.
In January, she saw two men killed.
In February, her brother, her beloved CJ, was overdosed.
Days later, her twin had a complete mental break and almost killed her.
Two weeks ago, Momma and Daddy seemed headed for divorce.
Last week, Diesel broke her heart.
Two days ago, Ryan broke her spirit.
Tonight brokeher. She felt alone and lonely, as if she had no one in the world. Except that wasn’t true. She didn’t have Rule, but she had CJ and Axel. She didn’t have Diesel, but she had Kaia. And she had her mother even if she didn’t have her father.
Diesel tipped her chin up, but she lowered her lashes, refusing to look at him.
“Rebel, sweetheart, please—”
She couldn’t take it anymore. The hoarse desperation in his voice cut through her. She knew how it felt to want grace and mercy, and have it denied to her. Rule preferred to have killed her before he offered her any compassion. “Happy birthday, Diesel,” she cut in quietly, lost. It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t, couldn’t, forgive him. His betrayal went too deep. If only he’d understood why she was so hurt and angry, but he didn’t. As long as he didn’t understand, he’d do it again. Maybe not that exact thing, but something equally as bad or worse.
“I’m going home.”
“Come back inside and tell me happy birthday in front of everyone.”
“No.”
