“I don’t want him dead, remember, son?” she said.
“I do,” Axel said in a grave tone. “But he’s so old, Mom. He’ll die soonanyway.”
Meggie frowned.
Axel narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. “Did that upset you?”
“Very much,” Meggie answered.
Sighing heavily, Axel turned to Christopher. “Start taking vitamins, Dad. As soon as possible. Okay?”
“Yeah, boy.”
Satisfied by Christopher’s answer, Axel resumed pacing. “Would you consider cheating a felony, Mom?”
“In this house,” Meggie said with a sniff.
“Is there a ternative to you leaving?”
“Alternative and castration.”
Everyone except Jana, Axel, and Gunner winced.
“What’s that?” Axel asked.
“A cock decapitation,” Ryder responded. “Something no dude wants to think about.”
“Yeah, Ax,” CJ said, joining in after regarding the situation in silence. “Not only does a guy not want to even think about that, he doesn’t want to make his girl mad enough to consider it.”
Axel’s eyes widened. “You’d order Dad’s cock decipulation, Mom?”
“If he cheated and somehow convinced me to stay—” Which he wouldn’t do. “Yes, I would.”
“Mom!” Axel breathed in awe. “You’re so cool!”
“More like fuckin’ bloodthirsty,” Christopher snapped.
Axel ignored him. “So the two felony punishments are you leaving if he hits you and cock decipulation if he cheats. Right, Mom?”
“Decapitation,” Christopher barked, affronted. “How the fuck you sacrificin’myfuckin’ cock just so your ma would stay?”
“If you’re the stupid motherfucker that does something to lose it, you don’t deserve it, Dad.” Axel looked at Meggie again. “I’m right, huh, Mom?”
“I’d leave on both accounts.”
Axel’s face fell, but he waved at Ransom. “You’re getting all this, Ran?”
Ransom didn’t lift his head. He continued looking at his phone screen. “Yeah, Sweet Pea. I’m recording and taking notes.”
“Okay, Mom,” Axel said, satisfied with Ransom’s confirmation. “Those two stuffs will be classified as Felony DEFCON1. He will be fined and deserted.”
At least he’d dropped the death sentence. “And divorced,” Meggie said for the utmost clarity.
“This no longer fuckin’ funny,” Christopher complained.
Axel placed a finger over his lips. “Quiet, Dad. Court is in session. I will have my bailiff drag you out.” He pointed to Ryder.
“You gonna have your bailiff fucked up.”
