“How fucking romantic,” Kendall told him.
“He didn’t trust cunts. He always said the cunt who pushed me out died not long after I was born.”
“That wasn’t true,” Kendall said, holding up the DNA test results. “See for yourself.”
Bash stared at the sheets of paper in Kendall’s hand, almost as if he were afraid to believe her.
“He did fuck up Celia’s momma. Right in front of me.”
Kendall wouldn’t respond on that. “I wouldn’t build your hope only to tear it down. Celia is too important to you, Bash. I can only read the results on the page.”
Celia stood and embraced Bash. “Oh, Sebastian. My hero.”
Swallowing, Bash hugged her back. “If you say that in front of your motherfucker, I’m going to have to fuck him up.”
Celia laughed. “Jared will understand.”
Brother and sister embraced again, then returned to their seats.
“Next,” Johnnie said.
He obviously wanted Jana’s paternity settled once and for all.
Let him sweat.
Kendall smiled. “Fee?”
“Oh shit.” Ophelia rolled her eyes and snorted. She hadn’t been friendly to Kendall since their LA trip. “You’re about to tell me Mama wasn’t related to me.”
“No, hun,” Kendall retorted with the same amount of saccharin sweetness as Ophelia. “I’m about to tell you that your father isn’t the same as Zoann’s. Hers is Fred Sterling. Yours is Wallace Bart.”
“What?” Zoann, Outlaw, and Ophelia cried.
Bursting into tears, she turned to Stretch. While he hugged her, Cash rubbed her back.
Kendall moved on. Fuck Ophelia. “Outlaw, you and Johnniearecousins and half-brothers.”
“Fuck, you sure that shit right?” Outlaw grumbled. “I ain’t got no last-minute save?”
“Oh, I fucking like that, Christopher,” Johnnie barked.
“Ain’t givin’ a good fuck. Choke on that motherfucker. Not only ain’t I want to be related to your motherfuckin’ ass, I don’t even wanna look at you.”
Hurt flickered across Johnnie’s face, then he scowled and flipped Outlaw off.
“I had a dream, Uncle Johnnie,” Axel said, squirming next to Diesel.
Considering the amount of time this was taking, Kendall applauded the kids’ behavior. The adults were starting to get restless.
“A dream about what, Ax?” Ryder piped in since Johnnie refused to take Axel’s bait.
“That I broke into Uncle Johnnie’s bedroom, put glue on his fingers and shoved them up his nose, then watched him smother.”
Bash roared with laughter. “You’re a creative little motherfucker, you know that, kid?”
“Uh-huh,” Axel said proudly. “Dad calls me that, too. And Mom buys me all types of stuffs to fester my createness.”
“Foster and creativity,” Rebel told him.
