“Yeah.”
“No one else did.”
“I think Daddy noticed, but then he got sidetracked by whoever. There are just so many motherfuckers in there.”
Mattie giggled. “That’s our family you’re calling motherfuckers.”
“Only some of them are human,” she grumbled. “The others are homo motherfuckus.”
“Homo erectus went extinct over a hundred thousand years ago,” Mattie said, still laughing.
“I know we’re homo sapiens. I don’t think homo motherfuckiens have the same ring.”
“You’re right.”
Rebel smiled, then laid her head on Mattie’s shoulder. “What did our wonderful uncle do to you?”
“I was high,” Mattie said, all humor gone. “Bash cornered me and if I hadn’t fought back…”
Without Mattie going into detail, Rebel already knew what could’ve happened, so she wouldn’t push her cousin for any more gory details about the encounter. “Is that why you haven’t told anyone?”
“Daddy went insane the night it happened and left for two days. Mama was almost catatonic. I didn’t have anyone to tell.”
“We didn’t tell anyone either when he confronted us,” Rebel confirmed, lifting her head again, allowing the cool breeze to wash away all the ugly thoughts. They were on theoutskirts of Hortensia, almost to the next town over, where some of the nicer houses were. Streetlights dotted the subdivision, their gleam dulling the stars and the moon. Admiring the beauty of the heavens always brought Rebel peace. Tonight, she was sure it wouldn’t have mattered. Her argument with Jana really upset her.
Rebel forced her attention back to the conversation. “I think Daddy found out about Rule stabbing Bash…UncleBash, though.” She got intel by listening very carefully, especially when Momma and Aunt Bunny were talking.
“Rulestabbed…?” Mattie’s eyes rounded. “Are you serious?”
“To save Ryan.” Despair rose in Rebel because she missed Rule so much. Their visit eased her but now that she was home, she was more aware than ever of his absence. “And because the voices told him to. Just like they told him to drown me.”
“Oh, Rebel—”
Rebel grabbed Mattie’s hand and squeezed. “I miss Rule so much, but he’s doing so much better. He’sthriving. If it took what he did to get him help, then I’d go through it again. But it’s nothing compared to what Wally, Jr., Eric, Billy, and Wally the Warthog, did toyou. What fuckface Nardo and Ryan did to Harley.”
“You shouldn’t ignore what happened to you, Reb.”
“Ryan…” Rebel almost blurted that their cousin had watched at least one of her videos, but Mattie would put it together and realize Ryan had watched her, too. So had Devon.
Assholes.
Rebel doubted Rory looked at indecent videos of his own sister, but what did she know. She was that fuckhead’s cousin and he’d thought nothing of looking at her without clothes. The thought mortified Rebel so much that her belly clenched. She wanted it not to matter. She hoped that the more she pretended it didn’t matter, the sooner it would become the truth.
It was Mattie’s turn to lay her head on Rebel’s shoulder. “Have you ever thought about what you want to become when you get older?”
Mattie aspired to own a cybersecurity firm.
“Outside of Diesel’s wife or a special enforcer for the club?” Rebel shook her head, mourning the death of those dreams. But they’d just been childhood fantasies that reality crushed. Brutally.
“Couldn’t you be both?” Mattie’s question held no judgment, just genuine curiosity. “Diesel’s wife and the special enforcer?”
“If I was allowed to be a special enforcer, yes to that. I’m not, though. I don’t think Momma should lose me and the boys to club life.” Just as Kaia had said on their date. At the time, Rebel wasn’t too sure. With everything that had happened, she knew Kaia was right. “As forDiesel, he belongs to Jana and I’m fine with that. He’s happy. I’m also happy with Kaia.”
“I agree about you and Aunt Meggie.” Sitting up, Mattie clasped her hands together and shifted, looking as if she wanted to say more.
“What, Matt? Tell me.”
Chewing her lip, Mattie eyed her. “There’s more to life than being with a guy,” she muttered, almost too low for Rebel to hear.
